What to do if both partners are healthy and really want children, but the woman fails to conceive, despite numerous attempts? How to change your emotional state so that the body “understands”: is it possible and necessary to get pregnant?
Women who are faced with infertility of unknown origin know that it is customary to blame stress for the fact that pregnancy does not occur. Gynecologists unanimously say: if both partners are healthy, then there are all the prerequisites for conception, so “just relax”, get rid of stress – and everything will work out.
Sounds like bullying, right?
How to get rid of stress if you have sex according to the calendar (so as not to miss ovulation), you constantly see happy girlfriends with children around, and your husband looks away, pretending that everything is in order, although he himself thinks about the same thing?
The fact that pregnancy does not occur in any way is stress in itself. And if there are no objective reasons for infertility and doctors do not prescribe treatment, this is doubly stressful. How does a woman most often act in such a situation? He is distracted, say, at work – where he also cannot do without stress. And at the same time he blames himself for working too much and worrying, and that because of this, pregnancy does not occur …
All this is understandable, you say, but what to do?
Return from the war
You may have heard that in wartime, girls’ periods disappeared: the body accepted the fact that in the current stressful situation, childbearing was impossible, and turned off the childbearing function.
Now, of course, there is no war, the stress is not so large-scale, but no less stable. We are constantly exposed to stress at work or even on the way somewhere – in the subway or driving. The stability of emotional stress can create the illusion of a “martial law” in the body: the body, at the level of all systems, “recognizes” the fact that there will be no changes for the better, which means that there is no point in creating a new life.
How to prove to the body that the time is peaceful? Here are a few factors that have a calming effect on him.
1. Slower pace
It is not always possible to completely take a break from work, but almost every one of us can slow down the pace. Yes, sometimes – at the risk of a career. But if family is a priority, it’s worth it.
Reduce work speed with more precise planning. Consciously allocate time for breaks so that between work tasks there is time for a cup of tea, a walk instead of a run to / from the subway, and a conversation with colleagues. The alternation of tension and relaxation tells the body that the time is peaceful: in extreme cases, you can always relax, no one will force you to plow hard from the fence until lunch.
2. Body care
Let’s remember how … monkeys behave. In “peacetime”, when all dangers have passed and food has been obtained, they sit and choose insects from each other’s wool. The example is not the most romantic, but very understandable. The jungle is not the safest place, but if there is time for grooming, then life goes on as usual.
When you get home, make time for hugs with your partner. Not scheduled sex, but massage, hugs, touches, a joint bath. Something that will “turn on” the state of security at the biological level.
3. Relaxation practices
It is useful to introduce exercises into your daily routine that allow you to purposefully work out muscle clamps, and therefore indirectly normalize the functioning of the nervous system.
One of these whole-body practices is Sing Shen Juang Spine Chi Kung. In addition to the fact that you “reboot” the body, relaxing the accumulated tensions, such a practice can become a kind of ritual that will also inform the body about the stability of positive changes, which is possible only in “peacetime”.