Why people prone to alcoholism grow up in prosperous families

Parents-Alcohologenic Parents – this is the name of those fathers and mothers who unwittingly bring up a tendency to alcoholism in children.

According to psychotherapist Mark Sichel, addiction in adulthood most often develops in two diametrically opposed cases. Future alcohol addicts are brought up:

• irresponsible, abusive parents who barely cared for their children;
• hyper-responsible, caring parents who coddled too much with children.

The first scenario is not uncommon, and such examples make it easier to explain where the tendency to destructive behavior comes from. Self-centered, inattentive, despotic parents are a sharply negative experience that will affect the life of the child.

As a rule, matured children are aware of whose fault they have to bear the burden of resentment and anger. They understand that their upbringing was destructive. People who have realized that they are angry with their parents, and have come to the conclusion that they had serious psychological problems, it is easier to deal with their own addictions.

Those who manage to discover the source of their weaknesses find it easier to deal with them and win the fight. However, there are socially disadvantaged adults who grew up in a wonderful family, surrounded by care, attention and love. Such people simply cannot understand where the root of evil lies until it is clearly explained to them that they were “outdone” in childhood.

“Child King”

Paradoxically, “too loving” parents are often children who were once deprived of affection and attention. People who complain that their parents treated them cruelly, punished them and, in general, did not love them, turn their own experience inside out and naively believe that “there is never much love.”

In fact, excessive love creates problems, not solves them. Such parents treat the child like a king – every whim is satisfied, every demand is met, every threat is removed.

Sounds good? It seems to be, but children who are brought up in this manner become co-dependent. They are not taught to fight, achieve goals, or accept defeat with dignity. They do not teach to overcome fears, obstacles and hardships.

They are unable to be alone. They do not know how to deal effectively with stress and frustration. They don’t know how to be grateful for what they have. All these skills are necessary for a child to become a healthy, emotionally stable and independent adult.

midas vice versa

The “child-king” most often grows up as “King Midas in reverse” – everything he touches turns into lead. In childhood, he was not instilled with the ability to resist difficulties, and therefore he enters adulthood, weighed down by emotional addictions.

Those who are unaware of healthy ways to deal with stress and frustration tend to “self-medicate” with all sorts of addictive drugs. A child who is not taught independence is waiting for a series of unsuccessful co-dependent relationships.

A child who is not taught gratitude is a direct road to depression.

You may not be able to understand why you are unable to arrange a personal life, achieve success in work or get rid of addictions. Perhaps you are puzzled over what all the bad luck is connected with while you grew up in a prosperous family.

If you are parents yourself, do not repeat the mistakes of your dads and moms. As Aristotle said, between the two extremes it is important to find a golden mean – in everything, including education.