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How often the one with whom we were close, but for some reason broke up, unexpectedly reminds of himself with careful likes or short comments on social networks. What motivates him to take this step and is it possible to continue? Our heroines speak.
“He was not deceiving me, but himself”
Martha, 29 years old
“When a year ago he announced to me that we are different people, I could not believe his words. Yes, there were quarrels between us, but I thought we would be able to understand each other. And I was wrong. It seemed like my whole life went downhill. And then I also found out that he had a relationship on the side and he left for another woman.
I was worried for a long time, I could not see anyone, but gradually a new life began in me. Lost weight. Changed job. I went to Italy, which I had long dreamed of seeing. There were fans. And here he began to like my photos on Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) and write under the posts. Feelings for him almost cooled down, but I was curious what motivated him.
Once I answered, and he considered it a signal — he wrote in a personal. He admitted that he was bored. I honestly answered that I could not say this about myself. I don’t think he believed me. Offered to meet. I agreed.
For the first time, he openly admitted that he had gone to another, but realized that he was mistaken, he had lost a lot. I looked at him and understood: he simply does not know how to live in real living relationships, in which it hurts, you have to deal with different emotions, not always joyful. And now, in retrospect, he sees our life in a rosy light, because it is separated from the inevitable difficulties. But he deceives not me, but first of all himself.
“For him, it was a reason to have fun”
Alice, 30 years old
“After another quarrel, we decided that it was better for us to disperse. And even though it was a mutual decision, I missed you. She held on and didn’t write anything. And after a couple of months, I suddenly found his message. It was written with humor and dealt with a joke related to my dog. Its meaning was clear only to us, and I felt that much remains dear to him.
We met, and on the same evening we had sex. Then the man suddenly disappeared. I wrote myself, and he replied rather indifferently. Then he sent a frank message with intimate details of our last meeting, hinting at a desire to continue. I realized that he was just playing with me. And she stopped responding.
«We’ve been through too much to lose it»
Tamara, 40 years old
“We lived for fifteen years, we had a common family business — a company for logistics and car sales. When he confessed that he fell in love with another, it was a heavy blow for me. A terrible emptiness arose — our life was intertwined with common plans, interests, constant communication. After all, our business was like a common child. The husband acted nobly: we did not share anything, he left me financially protected. We talked briefly, only to the point.
And six months later, he suddenly wrote me a message that was not related to business. Offered to meet for dinner. I realized that I want to see him. And that was the start of our new journey together. He decided to return — we were connected by too much both emotionally and, I will not dissemble, financially. Although we didn’t talk about this aspect, I’m sure my husband was sorry to lose like that and what we built together for many years, invested so much effort, energy, sleepless nights.
«He just raised his self-esteem at my expense»
Inga, 24 years old
“It was my decision to break up, but as time went on, I increasingly thought about the former. Under one of my posts from a trip to St. Petersburg, he suddenly wrote that he remembers this place well. I answered him with a smiley — after all, it was in this city that our relationship began.
We began to correspond, but I felt that he was simply flattered that I answered. When I myself hinted at the possibility of a meeting, the tone of his messages became indifferent. I stopped writing, and gradually he himself disappeared from my field of vision. I realized that he just wanted to raise his self-esteem, nothing more. I do not regret that I decided to break up with him.
“Separation only proved that we are close people”
Alena, 30 years old
“For the seven months that we did not see each other, I calmed down and resigned myself to the fact that nothing could be returned. But when he wrote to me, it was as if a button turned on inside — disturbing and happy at the same time. I didn’t answer him for half a day. But not because she wanted to pause, she just lacked determination. I felt that he, too, misses and thinks of me. It’s impossible to explain, but our connection is not cut off so easily.
In the evening I answered him. And he immediately called. We met the very next day. I was not mistaken — we remained close people. The separation only proved it to both of us. Now we are together again.»