Contents
All of us, regardless of gender, age and social status, from time to time do not feel too confident. However, there are many purely male reasons for insecurity that women are unaware of.
Here are four reasons why a man experiences self-doubt that he will never admit.
1. Needs approval and help
Uncertainty often makes us dependent on those who help maintain self-esteem. Think about it: is your partner shifting responsibility for your well-being onto you? If he is dissatisfied with himself, he may try to make you feel guilty for his shortcomings and weaknesses.
Perhaps he will begin to demand to do what he himself, as it seems to him, is not capable of doing. Or insist that you always look a certain way, trying to gain respect from other men. His need for approval can be expressed actively or passively, but in any case, it will begin to erode the foundation on which the relationship is built.
2. Afraid of his own emotions
“Men don’t cry”, “grit your teeth and be patient”, “don’t be a girl!” — boys, as a rule, are taught to distance themselves from emotions, to be distracted from them. Growing up, many do not know what to do with their feelings.
Writer David Deida believes that a man should be in harmony with emotions and be able to feel the mood of a woman. Perhaps this is difficult for a partner, the world of emotions frightens him. Instead of admitting it, he hides from his experiences and neglects yours.
3. Worries about not being good enough for you
If he thinks that you are unhappy with him, he begins to be tormented by uncertainty. In particular, he may worry that you are not satisfied in bed. Often this is due to the fact that men usually have an orgasm earlier than women. At this point, his attraction and energy plummet, which prevents him from continuing to make love in order to fully satisfy his partner.
Of course, this is not always the root of the problem. It happens that a woman herself suffers from insecurity, which prevents her from experiencing full excitement and reaching an orgasm.
4. Afraid of losing you
Doubting whether he is good enough for you, the partner begins to fear that you will leave him or start a relationship on the side. As a result, he can either become passive in a relationship, or, on the contrary, begin to be jealous and control every step. A mixed option is also possible: periods of passivity will be replaced by periods of aggression. Ultimately, this can destroy relationships.
To deal with insecurity, it must be acknowledged and then acknowledged by others. Your acceptance and support can help your partner in this, but he must find strength for inner work. Support him, but he must take the first step.
About the author: David Schroeder is a psychologist and life coach.