Contents
A good question that both women and men try to answer. There are many answers and opinions, but the indicated conflict is still unresolvable.
Artem Kostyuzhev, psychotherapist
“Still, there are fewer men who like girls in the body. The image of a slender (thin) girl is a social product. Girls perfectly feel social expectations and limits and therefore measure their data with social “standards”. The idea of attractiveness and self-importance is very important for self-esteem. From this, some girls may be overly concerned about their forms, the search for various “flaws”. Getting rid of prejudices and becoming independent is very difficult.”
Pass the tests
- What determines your sexual self-esteem?
- Self-love: what is your level of self-esteem?
Maria Eremina, journalist
“Because from childhood, a girl is taught that she is her appearance. All those who come to visit will definitely ask if she has a fiancé (starting from the age of four), they will say what a beautiful dress she is wearing, they will give a doll with a standard figure and three dresses.
Later, she will face the fact that any of her words can be discounted by the lack of the right appearance or boyfriend. She can have any level of intelligence and erudition, but if she gets into an argument or just expresses her point of view, she will run into comments like “but you are fat”, “no one loves you”, “no one needs your rich inner world”. Note that jokes about a rich inner world are only about girls.
Read more:
- 5 French Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem
There are also magazines. Girls read magazines for girls (which, in general, is pretty obvious), in which about 100% of the content is about how to dress, put on makeup and go on a date with anyone.
All through high school, half the teachers would talk her out of going to a big university and tell her that her only purpose was to jump out and marry the first person she met and have kids as quickly and as many as possible. The objections that a girl wants to go into science and art, her life oppresses her, and if she wants a family, then someday later, only the most courageous allow themselves. Such objections are considered heresy and youthful maximalism.
Then there will be more. Heels in a dress code, ads for anti-wrinkle products on TV, flirting with the boss, vulgar jokes from colleagues, phrases like “why do we need to talk about work, let’s go to a cafe” from an invited specialist and other joys.
Read more:
- “A single point of view creates stereotypes”
Sophia Merz, commentator for theQuestion service
“Let’s just digress for a moment from the feminist side of this issue. First, let’s admit that the question is incorrect. Firstly, why should a woman care about the opinion of men about her figure? How do you imagine it? “I’m a bit fat, but I know Vasya and Petya who like it, so everything is OK.” This is humiliating in itself. Despite the fact that an inferiority complex is really brought up in women, which forces them to build relationships with themselves through the prism of “desirability” among men, let’s not consider this the norm and take it for granted.
I am a woman. My weight and figure are important to my self-esteem. And I, to put it mildly, have little interest in the opinion of men on this matter, which usually, by the way, boils down to the fact that I am “something too skinny and unappetizing”, as if someone asked them and as if I want to fit into the category “appetite”.
Read more:
- “I no longer worry about how I look in the eyes of others”
My figure is important to me in terms of aesthetics and functionality. Aesthetics is subjective, mine, personal, not someone else’s. Has it been influenced by popular culture? Certainly. Any tastes are formed under the influence of culture. And advertising, and books and films that I read or watched, led to the fact that I have an ideal figure, which I aspire to. Have patriarchal standards influenced mass culture? Oh sure. And they, in turn, were influenced by something else, and if you follow this chain, you can reach the handle.
Functionality is objective. A fit, wiry, muscular person will be able to endure a greater physical load than a person in the body. Yes, yes, there are reservations, exceptions, but for the average fat woman, it’s true, she won’t run a marathon. For me it is important, I want and love to be strong. And I don’t like being lethargic, flabby and weak.”