Why is it so hard to come to terms with the loss of pets?

Coping with the loss of a pet is extremely difficult. Unfortunately, many are not ready to admit how painful such a loss is and how much it affects the emotional and physical state. Recently, the New England Journal of Medicine wrote about a woman who, after the death of her dog, was diagnosed with “broken heart syndrome” – an acute heart attack with signs of a heart attack. Although the whole world learned about the news, hardly anything has changed in the general perception.

Few people dare to ask for a day off from work to mourn their beloved pet. We are afraid of appearing too sentimental or emotionally unstable. And, alas, few employers will agree to satisfy such a request.

The fact that society does not take the death of pets seriously enough is detrimental to our ability to recover. We are not only deprived of social support, but also embarrassed by the depth of suffering and hide the pain from loved ones. Sometimes, not fully realizing what is happening to us, we ask ourselves why we react so inadequately to the loss.

A few explanations of why we grieve so much and where the emptiness comes from.

1. Losing pets hurts just as much as losing family members.

Many owners consider their animals to be part of the family. For those who live alone, there is no one closer and dearer. They may see their parents and siblings a couple of times a year, but a dog, a cat, a bird, and other living creatures are part of everyday life, so his death can be felt more acutely than the loss of relatives.

2. Pets are our therapists

They are able to exert a therapeutic effect, even if they have not been trained to do so. Their presence provides a pleasant company, relieves loneliness, reduces the level of depression and anxiety. By losing them, we lose an important and vital source of support and comfort.

3. Caring for them gives life meaning.

When there is someone to take care of, we are set differently, self-esteem rises, a life resource and a sense of purpose appear. When the animals leave, the feeling of being needed that we need disappears.

4. Everyday life breaks down

Caring for an animal is a complex of tasks and responsibilities that fill the days. We stay active by walking the dog, getting up early to feed the cat, looking forward to the weekend when we can ride the horse. With their loss, the way in which our plans and actions were tied is changing. We are not only tormented by mental pain, existence becomes aimless.

5. We are losing part of our identity.

In the immediate area, dog owners are usually known by the names of their pets. Wherever they go, they are greeted as Alma’s “mom” or Rex’s “dad”. It is not uncommon for pets to have more followers on social media. They become an integral part of our self-identification, and with their loss, a breakdown occurs in our “I”. Without them, we seem to become faceless and invisible. The death of an animal doesn’t just break the heart, it triggers a real, deep reaction of grief. This must be taken seriously and with understanding.