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The pleasure of life should be tangible. We look for it in expensive purchases, exotic countries, major life events. But this is not enough – small joys are also needed for complete happiness.
Remember the scene at the beginning of the movie “Amelie” where the voice-over lists the little joys of the heroine? Put your hand into a bag of beans, break the golden crust of creme brulee with a spoon, let the “pancakes” float on the water of the canal … We see how a round smooth stone jumps through the water, we hear the crackling of the crust, and our soul becomes good.
In ordinary life, we rarely pay attention to such pleasant trifles. It’s not that they don’t exist at all – it just seems to us that pleasure works differently. It does not come by itself – it must be won or earned. It does not lie underfoot – you need to look for it. And it always has a price.
This is what activates our sense of pleasure.
1. Something expensive
The higher the price we paid for a thing or service, the more pleasure we expect to receive. The trip will be more exciting if you saved up for it for six months, and wine for five thousand is tastier than for five hundred rubles (although we are so-so sommeliers).
2. Something rare
We are ready to stand in long queues for tickets to the exhibition of a famous artist, even if we heard about him only the day before yesterday, and the rest of the time we are not very interested in painting. But it was brought only for two weeks – you can not miss such a chance!
3. Something famous
The busker we pass on our way to work may be a virtuoso, but we won’t notice it. The violinist Joshua Bell once did just such an experiment – he came to the transition in simple clothes and began to play. Most people passed by, and only a few stopped to listen. But his name on posters attracts thousands of people.
4. Something significant
We believe that you need a good reason to be happy. Marriage, promotion, graduation. For “special occasions” we save not only expensive wine, but also our mood.
5. Something new
You hunted for this dress for two months, followed the news about sales, saved up money. But here it is in your wardrobe, and suddenly you realize that you would like to buy something else. The effect of novelty disappears – and the joy of possession fades.
All this is understandable, because joy is really felt stronger when it does not come immediately and is not given for free. The problem arises when we recognize only this type of pleasure and no other.
First, high expectations are not always justified. Let’s say you’ve planned the perfect vacation. The first day – check-in at a small hotel, lunch in a cozy cafe overlooking the main cathedral, a walk around the city in the evening. But the plan fails: you had to wait until your room was ready, your order was mixed up in a cafe, and in the evening it started to rain.
Instead of joy and peace, you feel irritation. So why are you so unlucky?
Secondly, we unlearn how to appreciate the beauty of what surrounds us every day. We pass unusual buildings near the house without even trying to learn their history. We rarely ask about the life of our parents, grandparents, because they are always there, but we strive to communicate with idols, about which we already know almost everything from articles.
We can get more joy out of life if we open up impressions that previously seemed unimportant. Here are a few steps to take to make this possible.
Tune in to your feelings
Our body is designed so that some sensations naturally bring joy. A sip of water after a long drive under the scorching sun, sun in the sky after a week of overcast and rainy weather, a cool shower after a workout.
Start by exploring yourself – what you like, from arranging an apartment, a room. Smells, colors, temperature – notice everything. Try something new every week: massages, unusual meals, herbal teas. Give your feelings space to open up.
You live rhythmically
Loading ourselves with work for a whole week and even on weekends mentally moving from the living room to the office, we disrupt the balance of life. Alternate moments of tension and relaxation, pause more often, prepare rewards for your work – and you will get rid of the painful feeling of dissatisfaction.
Focus on your tastes
Sometimes we strive for something without realizing that we really want something else. Why? One of the reasons is that we want to impress others. We subconsciously strive to ensure that our choice is approved by others. Try to figure out in which cases you do something for the sake of someone else’s assessment, and in which cases you follow your true desires.
Love the spontaneity
Perhaps life seems routine to you and you envy the bloggers who write every day about the unusual moments that happen to them.
But you also have a lot of interesting things going on – you just need to distract yourself from your problems and look around
There are many joys in life that come to us by themselves. You just need to learn to notice them and appreciate the moments of warmth.
Please others
The joy of participating in the lives of others is perhaps the most accessible and inspiring. Remember the same film “Amelie”: it was the desire to fulfill the cherished desires of others that made the heroine special and eventually helped her find her happiness.
Prepare small surprises for loved ones, ask them about what they are interested in, how their day went, what pleased, surprised them.
The ability to enjoy a titmouse in our hands does not mean that we are not worthy of more. But without it, we run the risk of not noticing most of the amazing things that are happening right under our noses.