Each of us has a sore spot, and the older a person is, the more sore spots he has. All of us were once betrayed, sold for three kopecks, lost close people to whom we were very attached, endured injustice, insults. There were difficult periods of weakness and poverty in our lives, which we do not want to remember. There were events that we don’t want to talk about because it hurts us.
The writer Turgenev had a special point on his head, his fontanel was not overgrown. He was healthy, tall, his mother even called him the Pillar of Alexandria. The writer’s friends had such a joke — to come up and knock on this fontanel with your finger. The writer fell unconscious. Friends laughed merrily at how such a hero falls to the ground and shakes his arms and legs in a chaotic manner. Why did they do it? For fun, of course. For the same reason, people touch your sore spot in a conversation.
It happens that people accidentally touch a sore spot, but rarely. From such accidents, we do not feel anger, only pain.
In most cases, we are faced with other situations when a person deliberately puts pressure on sore points, realizing and understanding what he is doing. “Yesterday I saw your husband with some young girl! So beautiful, they bought suitcases, they are going to fly to the Maldives.” A person will say this and will wait for your reaction, since your suffering will give him a lot of pleasure, so people specifically talk about what you don’t like to hear about.
It is clear that when enemies do such nasty things, we are already ready for the fact that now they will hit us and it will hurt, but we keep the blow, because it does not become sudden for us. But it is difficult to expect such meanness from good friends and relatives, it takes you by surprise and the person is simply lost, he does not know how to be and what to do, starting to answer the questions of the tormentor, while feeling extremely terrible. In such a situation, you need to say directly: “I don’t want to talk about it.” In such a situation, there is no need to apologize, the answer should be quick. Imagine that your interlocutor has a sword in his hands, and you have exactly the same sword in your belt. Here they threaten you and .. What will you do? Draw your sword back and parry the blow. This is how it looks in practice, only in verbal form. Switch to the topic of what you were asked about. “Did your relatives die? What did you feel about it?» If the interlocutor shows aggression and accuses you of tactlessness, then be sure that he wanted to hurt you. Always the accusation of aggression goes to the calm and polite person whom they wanted to bite, but could not. You do not need to pay attention to these accusations, behave calmly and tactfully, but cut off any attempt to speak on an unpleasant topic immediately.
Bad things have happened to all of us in our lives. They teach us to treat other people with understanding and awe. If you have moral values, then you will never intentionally hurt a person, no matter who he is.