I sneezed, coughed, my head ached, my stomach seized … Immediately in the home first-aid kit or from colleagues there is a suitable pill. And even a bad mood is now treated with medication. Why do we rush to use chemistry? Is there another way to deal with unpleasant symptoms? Let’s try to figure it out with a psychologist.
As paradoxical as it sounds, modern man is more sensitive than his ancestors. “In the past, most people simply had no time to indulge in thoughts, and with the advent of the age of technology, there was more time for experiences and reflection,” says body-oriented therapist Alexei Yezhkov. — Previous generations did a lot of physical labor, they had no time to reflect on the meaning of life. And now there is freedom, the opportunity to sit down, think and suddenly discover: something is happening with my body and feelings.
Until now, there is an opinion among the older generation that all “nonsense” is due to idleness. And the recipe is obvious: if there are “wrong” thoughts or suffering, take a shovel and go dig, immediately “all the nonsense will leave your head.” And the person of the XNUMXst century himself doesn’t particularly want to worry — it’s unpleasant, it interferes with concentration and action. And yes, it’s just scary. But not everyone is in a hurry to follow the example of Forrest Gump and run, run, run. It’s easier to use the «magic pill».
In our narcissistic age, society requires everyone to be fast and successful.
Our age is fast-paced, and we are trying not to lose speed in order to stay in the flow. And if something went wrong, you need to immediately return to duty. Perhaps that is why cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy is so popular now, which in the United States is even covered by insurance. It helps to quickly relieve symptoms and return a person to working condition: so that he does not worry for a long time, he needs to be repaired as soon as possible. “In our narcissistic age, society requires everyone to be fast and successful. There is no time to worry, to talk about your weaknesses, ”explains Alexei Yezhkov.
And we resort to pills — they drown out the feelings and discomfort in the body. But is it so healing and safe for our psyche?
To drown out the pain at any cost
“Sensations, emotions, feelings are our signaling system that reports what is happening to us,” the psychologist argues. — There are two options for working with it: you can ignore it, or you can fine-tune it.
We have a feeling, it signals something, on its basis an emotion appears, then a feeling. Here is such a hierarchy.
Taking the pills, we slowly turn off this chain, ignoring the call signs and adapting to the drugs, and in the end we stop feeling.” But the ability to understand oneself is precisely the skill that we develop from childhood. Now, at the slightest discomfort, we strive to “turn it off”. Simply because they are not used to uncomfortable sensations.
There are cases of clinical endogenous depression, when medication is indispensable
And we are talking about pain not only physical, but also mental. Bad mood, stress, sudden fear … The body signals: something is happening to it. But instead of understanding what it is, we often take a drug that calms us, cheers us up. Of course, there are severe cases of clinical endogenous depression, when medications that restore the biochemical balance are indispensable. But now it is fashionable to suppress even the slightest anxiety with sedatives.
“The drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist do not cure the disease as such,” explains Alexei Yezhkov. — They simply make a person comfortable for society or provide an opportunity for psychotherapy, removing an acute condition. After that, you can start working with a psychotherapist.
And talk?
Many of us have acquaintances or colleagues who like to publicly complain about being unwell. Then their head hurts — and this immediately becomes a topic for office conversation. That leg was twisted — and those around vying with each other advise ointments and lotions that will definitely help.
“Such people have a secondary benefit from pain — the opportunity to talk about themselves,” states the psychologist. — Someone goes to the smoking room to chat. And someone attracts attention by talking about their ailments. This is a way to express yourself, to call on others to take care. Some people can’t walk up to a colleague and just say something. Or ask another: «How are you?» — and in response to tell about their joys and sorrows. Helping a person develop the skill of communication, teaching him to express himself in a healthier way is also the task of psychotherapy.
There is a fine line between caring and self-abuse — oddly enough, these concepts are often confused
Often we feel shame or guilt, but we don’t even realize it, or we run from these feelings. It is especially difficult for those who extinguished feelings all their lives, did not let them out, blocked the needs and desire to make contact. They just can’t ask the other how they feel or talk about themselves. Often these people complain of headaches.
There is a fine line between self-care and self-abuse — oddly enough, these concepts are often confused. Sometimes it’s really worth taking a pill so as not to suffer, but then it’s still better to deal with the reasons — on your own or by contacting a psychotherapist. “80% of those of my clients who complain of headaches have a constantly tense neck,” says Alexey Ezhkov. — The muscles of the neck are in tension, frontal, temporal and occipital, connected by a tendon helmet. The neck in bodily practice serves as a “controller” that disconnects the head from the body. People who try to control their emotions often have problems with it. By tensing the muscles, we block the normal lymph flow and blood flow.”
If you go for a massage of the cervical-collar zone, for some time your head will not hurt. But this requires complex work. Especially if a person for half his life did not notice what was happening to him, that he actually “blocks” and “squeezes”.
Be in society and save yourself
The streams of information that fall on us from all sides, and the fact that we live close to each other, imposes a huge psycho-emotional burden on us. To save yourself, it is important to go not only to fitness, but also to a psychologist, Alexei Yezhkov believes. And this is a problem: it seems to many that, asking for help, they sign their insolvency, and yet to be successful is one of the main requirements of the XNUMXst century. But without taking care of your own psyche, success cannot be achieved: today too much effort is invested in external indicators of success, and somewhere you need to find a resource for recharging.
“One study showed that the most likely to commit suicide are those who post photos showing success on social networks,” says Alexei Yezhkov. Narcissism pervades our lives so deeply that it often ceases to be healthy. Many are forced to reach for some kind of artificially set bar. These people do not have psychological resources, they live the word in splitting: they see themselves differently from how others perceive them. And it’s a disaster for them.»
It is important to remember that our feelings and emotions are neither good nor bad. They are our main regulator
The information space was designed to unite us and improve the exchange of information, but instead it imperceptibly and severely traumatizes us: it interrupts our needs, imposes standards. It takes a lot of energy to stand up to the crowd — for example, staying home on a Friday night when everyone is going to a nightclub. Let’s add here the fear of loneliness, shame … But in fact, each of us needs to be alone with ourselves from time to time.
What to do? Listen to yourself and allow yourself all without exception feelings. Keep a balance: be in society and remain autonomous. “Each of us can come into society and ask for support, and then, without any shame, be alone,” recalls Alexei Yezhkov. It is important to remember that our feelings and emotions are neither good nor bad. They are our main regulator. And even if we are not used to them, we are afraid of their intensity or unusualness, we should not do anesthesia while taking a pill. You can learn to fine-tune our signaling system. We are autonomous beings and can regulate ourselves from within. Now it is fashionable to teach children to count and read from three to five years. But instead, you need to develop their emotional intelligence, teach them to understand their emotions: here I am afraid, now I am happy, but now I am sad. Yes, you can’t post it on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia). But this is the basis that children need now and adults in the future.”