The female feature associated with sex is that women perceive sexual intimacy as an indicator of human closeness. And even though they heard a hundred and twenty-five times that this is not the case for men, they still project their attitude to sex onto a man at the level of feelings: “If for me after sex a man is the closest and dearest, otherwise there would simply be no sex with him, It means that the man treats me the same way. Moreover, in bed he was so ardent! Showed so many feelings!
Dear girls, a man’s feeling of intense pleasure and even delight from the process of intercourse may be completely out of proportion to the feeling of pleasure and delight from the personality of his sexual partner. And the man wanted sex not from a feeling of great intimacy, but from a feeling of excitement.
Yes, a woman’s sense of arousal is formed in a different way: for centuries it was written in the subcortex that you need to keep a distance with strangers, this is the safest strategy for women, naturally, you don’t have to have sex with these strangers, and no one wants to. And if it comes to sex, then the distance has disappeared, so the person has ceased to be a stranger. And here it is worth noting a mistake in thinking: you should not have sex with strangers — this is true, but the fact that physical intimacy is an indicator of human intimacy that has arisen is a strong delusion that promises women further trouble.
Dear girls, learn how to «Our Father»: sex does not give rise to human intimacy. In order for a person to become close and dear, you need to “eat a pound of salt” with him, gain some experience of interaction in real life. And then it will become clear whether there is ground for intimacy: common interests, mutual understanding, the desire to be together, high mutual significance, support for each other and willingness to sacrifice.
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The fact of sexual desire, and even the fact of sexual intimacy, does not provide much progress, nor even the least guarantee of a necessary movement towards such intimacy. Men are well aware of this and evaluate kinship with a woman by no means by the fact of sexual intercourse. Women have difficulties with this: there was sex — it means that we are close, even relatives, and are already ready to serve each other’s interests, even if we know each other for twenty-four hours. In any case, women are ready to interact within the framework of this paradigm after sex. Whether a woman wants it or not, it’s hard for even the most conscious to not stick to this course.
A man does not swear allegiance to sex, a man does it differently. But girls, having perceived sex as the culmination of human intimacy, begin to perceive a sexual partner as a potential husband, caring and devoted, which makes a man bewildered. He has not yet offered himself in such a role, and the woman’s behavior, in this regard, looks obsessive, shameless, strangely demanding, and the thought is spinning in my head: “well, we felt so good, what else do you want from me …”. He himself is not ready for care and loyalty to someone who is still completely insignificant and alien, just as he does not need either devotion, or loyalty and care of this someone. Well, if she imposes, she runs already loaded with bags to his apartment and provides not only sexual services, but also takes care of all household chores … — it’s hard to refuse. But in return for no return, after all, he did not invite anyone to such interaction.
What happens when people contribute unequally to a relationship? Yes, that’s right, someone becomes unnecessary, not respected, unpleasant, of little value and of little value. So the female significance rolled, and at the same time self-esteem, under the plinth. Just because women and men differently perceive the role of sex.
Women need to know about this distorted perception of reality: intimacy is just intimacy. And if women do not know how to separate sex from love, then you should not rush to have sex, even if you are on fire and your partner is also on fire. Or you will again step on a very common female rake and, in the end, declare all men scoundrels.
First, establish human intimacy with a man, see signs of a warm, attentive attitude from a man, and only then enter into a sexual relationship with him. And then you will not fall into the trap of this peculiarity of female thinking, appropriation through sex of the title of “native”. I repeat once again: through sex it is not established! But, practically, not a single woman can accept this at the level of feelings. Therefore, at first they sleep, then they appoint relatives, then they blame. This vicious circle needs to be broken and how to memorize the mantra: to the question “why girls shouldn’t rush to have sex”, answer “because in a sudden case, girls begin to appoint themselves as devoted and faithful friends of those who often don’t need their love and devotion at all!”