Why families repeat negative scenarios

anniversary syndrome

There are situations that are repeated in the lives of relatives in the same age period. We are not talking about common life stages (graduation from a university, marriage, the appearance of children), but about non-standard, significant and often tragic events that affect life: a serious illness, trauma, loss of loved ones, etc.

Studies by psychologist Josephine Hilgard have shown that a sudden onset of psychosis in adults could be associated with a repetition of a family traumatic situation that occurred in childhood (the death of parents, their placement in a psychiatric institution, etc.).

When a person reaches the age at which a tragic event happened to the parents (for example, the mother was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital), and his own child reaches the same age at which he himself was at the time of the mother’s admission to the hospital, the hospitalization is repeated. Only now the actors are changing.

Why tragic events are repeated in the next generation

• The concept of “hidden loyalty to the family”. In this case, the anniversary syndrome occurs as a manifestation of sympathy and respect for the family. Also, a person may unconsciously identify with the ancestor with whom the tragic incident occurred.
• The concept of “crypt and ghost” Abraham and Terek. The syndrome, according to these experts, manifests itself in a person as a result of a traumatic situation in which his ancestor fell due to difficult and even shameful life circumstances (for example, due to the presence of family members in psychiatric hospitals, places of detention, etc.). The family secret associated with him seems to live in the body and soul of one of the descendants, he becomes its bearer.
• The theory of generational trauma Lyudmila Petranovskaya. A person is faced with the anniversary syndrome due to global events that occur in the country and affect the life of a person and his family (these can be revolutions, wars, disasters).

How to stop the chain of tragic repetitions?

To get out of the anniversary syndrome, you can try to make a special genosociogram – for this you need to schematically depict members of your family in several generations.

You need to start with yourself, and then move on to parents, grandparents, etc. The scheme will help to detect and decipher family tragic situations.

To compile a genosociogram, it is better to contact a specialist who will help you immerse yourself not only in the history of the family, but also in yourself, take a fresh look at family difficulties, accept the past and let it go, get out of the proposed role and start a new life.

Another way is to join support groups. Group sessions will help you deal with your anger, express anxieties and worries that are difficult to express alone or with your family.

Of course, you can reflect on family stories alone or with relatives, but it is more thorough and safer to do this with professionals in this field. A neutral view from the outside eliminates risks.

A deep study of your past and the past of the whole family will help you find numerous repetitions of various events and get out of the anniversary syndrome.