Why doesn’t he/she have sex with me?

You will be surprised: this question is asked more often than others … by the search engine. To figure out what else men and women are looking for on the Internet about sexuality, analysts studied Google data sets. The results obtained are impressive. Especially if you are ready to look at yourself with some irony.

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In a well-known anecdote, an elderly man complains to the doctor about difficulties in sex. “Darling, well, at your age, this is not surprising,” the doctor throws up his hands. “Why, my neighbor says that almost four times a week, but we are the same age!” the patient wonders. “Well, you tell me!” the doctor advises.

In full accordance with this anecdote, any study of our sexuality is distinguished by the fact that, alas, it is impossible to trust the answers of their participants.

Condoms as a Test of Honesty

Here, for example, the data of the demographic study of the General Social Survey, conducted every two years in the United States: a heterosexual man over the age of 18 performs an average of 63 sexual acts per year. At the same time, 23% of the time he uses a condom, which gives us approximately 1,5 billion used condoms.

At the same time, heterosexual women report an average of 55 intercourses, with only 16% of them using a condom. Total 1,1 billion condoms. Someone is definitely telling a lie. Want to know who? And those and others.

According to Nielsen, the premier authority on statistics and information, annual US condom sales fall short of even 600 million. And there are many such examples.

To get to the bottom of this, Seth Stevens-Davidovich, a Harvard graduate economist and former Google analyst, set out to study the big data sets of sex-related Google searches.

We exaggerate the frequency of having sex

The first conclusion is obvious already from the above example. We, to put it mildly, exaggerate the frequency of our sex. Of course, Stevens-Davidovich refers to American statistics, and yet there are many reasons to believe that in Russia the picture will turn out to be similar.

Married men under 65 assure pollsters that they have sex at least once a week on average. Married women call the figure slightly smaller, but still close.

Here are the Google stats. In negative (containing complaints and claims) search queries, the word “marriage” (marriage) most often coexists with the words “without sex” (sexless) – Google receives at least 20 such queries every month.

At the same time, the top five most popular “marriage” requests also include sex starved and no sex marriage – again, about the lack or complete absence of sex. Once a week you say?

The traditional notion that partners avoid sex more often than partners seems to be about to change.

When it comes to married couples, it’s true that husbands are asking Google about their bitter lot more often, monthly with the question “Why doesn’t my wife have sex with me?” the search engine is tormented by an average of 1048 men. However, the number of wives who are interested in why their husbands neglect them is quite a bit lower – 972.

But in relationships that are not formalized, the picture is completely different. The question “Why doesn’t my girlfriend have sex with me?” hits Google an average of 413 times a month. And a similar question about a boyfriend – almost twice as often, 805 times.

Men care about the length of the penis and the duration of the act

What is our main difficulty? We are too insecure, suggests Seth Stevens-Davidovich, citing very telling Google statistics to confirm his guess.

If a man asks a search engine about any organ of his body, guess which one is most often discussed. Well, yes, there is nothing to guess. For every 100 searches with the words “my dick” there are 5 with the words “my brain”.

And these requests do not shine with originality either. “The quintessence of our digital age,” Seth Stevens-Davidovich calls the search query “How big is my dick?”

However, any result, apparently, will still be unsatisfactory.

Men are constantly asking Google how to get a bigger penis. This question is asked many times more often than the question of how to tune a guitar, cook scrambled eggs, or change a punctured tire. Now compare. For every 170 questions from men about the length of their manhood, there is exactly 1 question from women about the length of their partner’s penis.

And that’s not all. Even when a woman asks Google if something can be done about the size of her partner’s penis, she is often interested not in an increase, but just a decrease – because of the pain and discomfort during intercourse.

The second most popular source of male anxiety is the duration of the act. For advice on prolonging it, men turn to Google, albeit not as often as for advice on penis lengthening, but also with enviable frequency.

And also in vain. Women in their search queries are almost equally often interested in how to delay a partner’s orgasm, and in how to bring it closer. And most of all they are worried about the situation when the partner does not experience an orgasm at all – this request is the most frequent.

Women are interested in health, and only then the vagina and breasts

However, women themselves suffer from self-doubt no less. And also not averse to asking Google about your genitals. True, in 70% of cases these requests are related to the state of health.

But in the remaining 30%, women meticulously ask Google about which intimate haircut should be preferred, how to make the vagina more beautiful, less wide and improve its taste and smell.

For reference, men ask Google about their partner’s penis about as often as women ask questions related to their partner’s penis size.

Next, of course, is the chest. Google receives 7 million breast implant queries a year from the US alone

According to official statistics, the number of corresponding operations in the country is about 300 per year.

And this seems to even make sense. For example, when a man searches Google for porn, the presence of actresses with large breasts is a must in 12% of searches. Requests for porn featuring actresses with small breasts are exactly 20 times less.

But porn is more of a theory. But in practice the situation is different. When a man turns to Google and both breast implants and a partner are mentioned in the search query, about half the time he wants to know how to convince his chosen one to increase her breasts. And in the other half of the cases, he wonders why she needed these implants, and wants to know how to talk her out of the operation.

Most ridiculous request

And finally, one more sign of the digital age – the question is so ridiculous that, perhaps, even touching. Do you know what is one of the most frequent requests from men related to the breasts of a partner? “I like my girlfriend’s breasts.” It’s even interesting what kind of answer they want to receive from the search engine – “me too”?

The main conclusion of Seth Stevens-Davidovich is very simple. We want to have sex much more often, but we are too worried about our own imperfections, which can interfere with this.

So maybe stop pestering Google with questions that don’t have answers? Maybe you should treat yourself better, and sex easier? And finally, allow yourself to do it more often? Well, at least as often as we tell sociologists.

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