Contents
Why does the fear of making mistakes paralyze us
Psychology
Although fear of the future and mistakes are necessary, there are times when it becomes impossible to control
To feel scared it is the most natural thing in the world, so much so that it is almost impossible not to feel it from time to time. We are afraid of an inherently dangerous situation, such as looking off a very high cliff, or driving a car at high speed. In general, we are afraid of the things that teach us that they are dangerous: that is why as children we do not talk to strangers and we never part with our mother’s side when we leave the house. We are afraid of what is out of our control, the uncertain future, not knowing what is going to happen. And within the primary fear, there is an aspect that can cause us so much objection, that it can paralyze us: the fear of being wrong, to errors.
Rafael San Román, a psychologist for the ifeel platform, confirms the fact that, in general, we all feel fear. “It is such a basic emotion that we share it with many animals,” he says. He talks about the fact that, among the fears that we may have, of course the fear of making mistakes, making bad decisions or hurting someone is included, «Without that fear -and without the rest of emotions- life in society would be very messy and tremendously aggressive, “he points out.
Although the fear of being wrong is an emotion that we experience on a regular basis, there are those who feel it in a more exacerbated way, so much so that it can paralyze them. The psychologist comments, which may be for reasons related to our personality, or the style of coping with the problems we have. “Too being more insecure, even catastrophic, influences, having less confidence in their abilities and skills or being more perfectionists “, explains the professional. On the other hand, he mentions that our past experiences can influence. “If we have made serious mistakes in the past it is perfectly normal (and useful) to be very afraid of making them again in the future. In fact, it is a sign of intelligence and that emotion will predispose us to take preventive measures », he points out.
Paralysis by analysis
The psychologist also speaks of the newly named “Paralysis by analysis”. This speaks of having an inordinate desire for control over the different factors that influence our life and “of the fantasy that, even in a very complicated decision, we can – if we review everything over and over again – arrive at the perfect decision and aseptic in which the level of error will be zero and the level of satisfaction will be optimal “.
“It can happen to us in very important decisions in life but also when deciding whether or not to buy this sofa”, explains Rafael San Román, and continues: “When the paralysis becomes very extreme it generates a lot of anguish, which is a reaction of the family of fear ». Even so, the psychologist points out that examining the possible scenarios and making decisions in a thoughtful way, as long as it does not become a mechanism that paralyzes us, does have positive effects. “Easy or perfect decisions exist but they are made quickly and do not generate conflicts. If a decision is costing us, even if it is costing us a lot, it means that none of the scenarios is perfect a priori and that all have their pros and cons, but that we must choose one of them if we really want to move forward », recommends the professional. Also, there are times when we must consciously assume that this is not the time to make a decision on this matter and that becomes the decision.
Are safe people afraid?
The question may arise as to whether, the most insecure people, are more prone to paralyzing when faced with a complicated decision. Rafael San Roman. «There are people with good self-esteem, flexible, optimistic, of good conformation … These characteristics protect them from being paralyzed before a decision, but this does not mean that they are not afraid of being wrong», Says the psychologist, who continues and says that these types of people feel the fear of error but in a manageable dose. «They can be wrong, but if that happens, they will know handle those mistakes well without blaming yourself excessively for them, “he says.
“Everybody, depending on what situations, must be afraid of being wrong. Obviously, Faced with very simple tasks or that we have very trained, that fear drops to zero or at a very manageable level. It must also be taken into account that, in a certain sense, fear is directly proportional to what we consider that we are playing with each behavior or decision, but that it is accompanied by other factors that can attenuate or trigger it », concludes the psychologist.