Anorexia is not a disease of models or those who dream of becoming models. Very often, anorexia is not associated with the need to look slim at all. Psychologist Natalya Inina tells.
One girl I worked with ate only seeds and candy. She had a strong distrust of the world, a fear of people. As a child, she experienced rape. Of course, this is a severe mental trauma. But there was another problem as well. The mother tightly controlled her daughter’s life: with whom she was friends, what she read, what she wore.
In fact, she treated her daughter like a thing. And the girl chose her destructive way to cope with the situation – she simply stopped eating. Obviously, in this case, anorexia was an attempt to isolate itself from the world. The problem was not food as such, but distrust of people and fear of life.
Bulimia is a condition no less terrible than anorexia, only with anorexia a person does not eat anything, and with bulimia he eats everything that comes to hand. He empties the refrigerator, and eats pickles with jam, then cutlets, then fish, then some canned food, all this is washed down with Coca-Cola, compote or something else …
Usually behind the desire to rule and control lies a deep fear, anxiety that gives rise to controlling behavior.
Such food is the strongest stress for the body. And naturally, after such a “meal” a person feels bad – he overate, feels all the signs of poisoning. But the matter is not limited to physiological problems. A person experiences terrible psychological discomfort, he is covered with guilt, self-loathing. Because he does all this alone.
I will tell you about one client who suffered from bulimia. She was a domineering, temperamental woman who manipulated her loved ones. And she had a lot of them: parents, brother, sisters, husband, two children. And she tried to control everyone, demanded that everyone report to her, but at the same time she constantly complained that she had to “drag everyone on herself.” Unfortunately, this is a typical picture.
Usually behind this desire to dominate and control lies a deep fear, anxiety that gives rise to controlling behavior. The relationship with food turned out to be just a symptom of a general destructive personality structure. Bulimia hid a deep dissatisfaction with himself and a great desire to be in the center of events.
In both cases, when the women realized that it was in themselves, in their relationship with themselves and loved ones, problems with food receded. In general, in such cases, I try to avoid topics related to food. It is necessary to talk about life, feelings, goals, meanings, experiences, about the difficulties that stand in the way.
Gradually, the topic of food ceases to be significant – food begins to take the place that it should: just serving our body. A healthy body, accordingly, creates comfortable conditions for life.
More details in the book by L. Vinogradov “On passions and temptations” (Nicaea, 2016).