Why can’t we sit still? We crave adventure, sometimes exposing ourselves to real danger: rafting down a turbulent river or going to the mountains. Closing borders due to quarantine causes panic. And as soon as the opportunity arises, we are again going on the road. What are we looking for in distant wanderings?
Traveling is a part of modern culture: every day we are convinced of this by looking at photos of acquaintances on social networks against the backdrop of mountains, lakes and sights. And although we remember the lines from school about “hunting for a change of place,” which Pushkin described as “a very painful property, a few voluntary crosses,” the number of people who want to take it upon themselves is growing.
What pushes us to go even now, when our options are limited due to the coronavirus epidemic? One possible answer is the voice of the ancestors. “The survival of an ancient man and his tribe is directly related to interest and curiosity, which make you take off from your familiar place and look over the hillock, into the neighboring clearing, beyond that forest,” explains Dmitry Petrov, a gestalt therapist. “If you sit in one place, then one day you will eat all the roots and mushrooms in the area.” But the modern traveler, of course, is driven not only by the instinct of self-preservation.
Inner voice
“Let’s look at travel from the point of view of psychic reality: what actualizes the psyche due to external actions? offers the analytical psychologist Vsevolod Kochetkov. “Each of us as “I” makes a journey through the depths of the inner content, and this is reflected in the external reality.” Every journey has a purpose for us. Solving it is sometimes more interesting than watching changing pictures in a camera lens or in a train window. And more often than not, this is the way to go.
“At some point, everything starts to annoy me,” says 50-year-old Tatyana. – I stop enjoying every day, I see only garbage, angry faces, gray houses, dirt on the roads, rudeness in transport. And then I have to leave! At least to the other side of the Volga, eat ice cream there, look at other buildings, at my city from the other side – and I return as if renewed, seeing the world of color again.
Dmitry Petrov explains this from the standpoint of Gestalt: “There is a certain homeostasis in the body, a stable ratio of substances. Something is consumed, something is depleted. When there is a shortage, there is an undifferentiated worry: “something is going wrong.” We listen to ourselves, look narrowly. And there is energy to make up for this deficit. It is this energy that lifts us off our sofas, kicks us out of our holes, and forces us to climb up a mountainside or fly to the other side of the world. We reach the goal, homeostasis is restored, the cycle is completed. And so on until the next cycle.
But how long does the feeling of satisfaction last? There are inveterate travelers who, as soon as they return home, are already starting to pack their bags again!
Вячеслав из своих 43 лет в путешествиях 31 год, начиная с того момента, когда его первый раз отправили одного с чужими взрослыми и детьми в поход. Сейчас количество снятых им кадров исчисляется сотнями тысяч. «Сначала я вел точный подсчет стран, в которых побывал, а лет пять назад, после цифры 90, перестал, ведь куда-то я езжу уже по четвертому-пятому разу», — признается Вячеслав. Он просто не понимает, как другие могут ни разу не выехать за пределы не то что страны, а даже собственного города.
Hero’s Journey or Detour?
“Some of us have a need to run somewhere all the time, we constantly need new scenery, circumstances,” Vsevolod Kochetkov reflects. “As if my land is barren, I can’t cultivate it. If I stop, then complex feelings, anxieties, fears will take over me, they will swallow me up. Flight is salvation from them.
Often a trip is a way to defuse some tension that arises within a couple or individual. Its cause is not always recognized or there are currently no resources to resolve the problem.
«Чего-то хочется, куда-то несет, съездил — полегчало. На запасе впечатлений можно какое-то время жить. Но если не удовлетворяется истинная потребность, то марафон по странам и континентам будет бесконечным, — поясняет Дмитрий Петров. — Можно обмануть себя, не строить отношений, не вкладываться в любовь со всеми ее сложностями и опасностями обжечься или убегать от кризиса в текущих отношениях. Как будто болит зуб, а мы глотаем анальгин и бежим дальше».
Traveling can be a kind of anesthesia to not feel any pain. But it can also be a way to challenge yourself, your fears. 38-year-old Natalya suddenly had a desire to go abroad alone: “I don’t know languages, I have never traveled alone, only with my husband, and I am afraid to be in an unfamiliar environment. But I feel like I have to do it.” Having overcome fear on the trip, perhaps Natalia will overcome it in other areas.
This path is heroic, according to the classification of the American psychologist, mythologist Joseph Campbell. He described a universal archetypal scenario: we make a journey through the depths of the inner content, which is reflected outward.
“Each of us hears the voice of the Self as the center of the psyche, the life potential with which we come into this world,” explains Vsevolod Kochetkov. “To fulfill the main task — to realize this potential in the objective world.”
The myth of Jonah speaks metaphorically about this. The Lord “prescribed” to him a mission to preach. Jonah refused. He fell into the womb of a huge fish, where he began to decompose, miraculously getting out of there with re-conscious attitudes, he heeded the call and became a preacher. So we sometimes need to get into a complex, unpredictable, dangerous environment in order to realize something.
Homecoming
Some travelers are driven by the need to separate from their parents and their home. Figuratively speaking, we set off on a journey to find our own home.
“The separation process can take place at any age,” Vsevolod Kochetkov is convinced. -There are 60-year-old people who continue to live under the influence of parental complexes. You can go far from your parents, even dead ones, while remaining dependent on them. Because the real separation takes place on a different level, on the inner, mental level.
This process is accompanied by initiation. For example, among the Australian Aborigines, it is customary to take boys from their mothers and send them with men to the forest, where during rituals they are scared to death, forcing them to survive fear, then sent to another settlement, where they learn to survive. And only then are they allowed to return to their native village.”
We, leaving away from the parental nest, literally recreate this ritual (regardless of gender). Its essence is to rely only on oneself, to survive at the expense of one’s own resources, not relying on the help of parents and acquaintances.
Even organized tourism, in which risks are minimized, makes it possible to get to know yourself better, meet new people, and find yourself in unexpected situations. Moreover – “wild”. The more unusual the environment in which we move ourselves, the greater the difficulties. But having overcome them, we return with the feeling that we have passed the test. And we look at what awaits at home in a different way.
Returning home is the meaning of many travels, not only in mythology (for example, in the story of Odysseus), but also in the real world. With a sense of relief, 47-year-old Irena returns from trips abroad. “Yes, our people are unsmiling and taciturn. But I can drag a suitcase up the stairs in the subway, and then some young man picks it up, without saying a word, puts it upstairs and, without removing the headphones from his ears, goes on. When I travel, I quickly begin to miss this soulfulness of ours.
В каком-то смысле возвращение домой — это возвращение из бессознательного, мира грез и фантазий, в реальность. «Но мы возвращаемся не с пустыми руками, а с Золотым руном — новым опытом, который адаптируем к предметной жизни, чтобы было понятно не только нам, но и другим: не зря ходил в путь, — подводит итог Всеволод Кочетков. — Мы делимся добытым эликсиром — рассказываем о поездке, об испытаниях, и этот рассказ может кому-то пригодиться. Это как раз задача пути героя».
Истинное ощущение дома — внутри. Если мы обрели внутренний дом, то легко чувствуем себя как дома и на своей территории, и в гостях.
What character am I?
В каждом из нас живет Путешественник: кто-то покоряет вершины, кто-то сёрфит интернет, а некоторые умудряются попасть в приключение, выйдя из дома за хлебом. Разработчик трансформационных игр Антон Нефедов предлагает представить, что мир — это настольная игра и вы можете выбрать, каким персонажем в ней стать.
Hero. He has his own personal task, for which he escaped from office everyday life, overcoming various trials, passing his own quest. Climbing a new mountain, getting lost and “getting lost” in the forest, walking along a rapid river, jumping with a parachute – this is what his path looks like. In life, we need such an adventure in order to get to know ourselves through the outside world, which was previously unknown to us, in order to know our strength. The hero performs feats, but this is just a cover. In fact, he searches for himself and finds himself when he understands that one can only create oneself.
Your move: when we are going to conquer the next Everest, we ask ourselves the question: “Why am I doing this?” And if the answer is “to prove something to someone,” we remember that the hero is challenging himself, not others. Show-off and waving a torn flag will lead him to the finish line of such “races” exhausted.
Героиня. This character (he is out of gender and gender) is unacceptable in our society, even though social networks are beginning to “sell” us this style of travel. She immediately goes to explore herself, not “hiding behind” the Alps, as a new height taken. For her, the Alps are a spa, a massage, a dream, a return to yourself and your body. The task of the Heroine is to accumulate strength, saturate and ground herself. She has no need to wave her saber and enter a burning hut. Her vacation is silence, regularity, self-knowledge and repair of the internal battery.
Your move: such Journey can also happen at home — when we allow ourselves to get enough sleep, go to a psychotherapist or to a transformational game, take care of ourselves and track where the resource is “leaking”, and patch these holes.
Антигерой. This comrade is familiar to each of us – he always has fools around him, he got tired, he has no strength. An antihero is not necessarily a villain. Most often, this is a Hero who is very tired and did not follow his inner call, but decided to “show Kuzka’s mother” to those who, in his opinion, prevent him from living the way he wants.
Your move: Antihero Journey is a detox, a cleansing. This is the same vacation in which other people’s children yelled too loudly on the beach, and the hotel staff “got stupid.” What to do? Arrange mental cleaning – screaming, grimacing, wringing your hands, mumbling, grumbling, demanding justice. This is mental garbage, you do not need to carry it with you. And you don’t have to explore it. You can just spit it out, throw it away and move on. Repeat “taking out the garbage” as many times and as many days until you feel like going on the Hero’s Journey or the Heroine’s Journey.
Which Journey is it time for you to go? What are your goals for your next vacation? What about your next lunch break?