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Eating is not the best way to cope with fatigue, pain, stress. We know about it, but we continue to eat when we feel bad. What drives us to do this? And how do you stop overeating?
It’s been a difficult day. Quarreled with loved ones. Again, the pants that I wanted to buy did not fit. And now, under a plausible pretext, you go to the kitchen and eat everything that comes to hand: today’s dinner, tomorrow’s breakfast, and even a sweet New Year’s gift to a child. If this is happening to you, know that you are not alone. Why do we overeat and what can we do about it?
1. Diets don’t work
We are upset by being overweight. We go on a diet and expect to lose weight the very next day, and ten kilograms right away. We forbid ourselves everything, then we weigh ourselves and do not see the desired number. It’s frustrating. And we are used to seizing any sadness. Therefore, we break down, we blame ourselves again, we again introduce severe restrictions. And so on ad infinitum.
Decision: find a nutrition system that is comfortable for you and meets your goals. Do not exclude your favorite products, do not impose prohibitions that cannot be broken. Between a starvation diet and a balanced diet with a moderate calorie deficit, we choose the latter. We don’t expect instant results.
2. Bad mood
Food, and especially sweet, quickly cheers up. Someone upset, at work a blockage means that you need to eat a chocolate bar or a bun. Remember: these are fast carbohydrates, their effect is too fleeting. Very soon you will again feel sadness, fatigue and the need to buy candy again.
Decision: learn to eat well. Dishes, serving, serving, rather than the food itself, will cheer you up. Eat small meals, chew slowly — savor, enjoy. So eat less and bring more joy to yourself.
Also, look for other ways to cheer yourself up.
3. Punishment for «crime»
Some prescribe diets as self-punishment. Failures in work, divorce, quarrel with children are a reason to go on a strict diet. But such behavior does not resolve the internal conflict, does not reconcile with oneself, so sooner or later the diet ends in a breakdown. Then, however, we begin to lose weight again, punishing ourselves for the breakdown.
Decision: you need to deal with guilt, insecurity, problems in your personal life, or other situations that provoke self-punishment through food. For this, it is best to contact a psychologist.
4. Desire to hide, defend
Excess weight, which sometimes occurs precisely due to overeating, may have so-called secondary benefits. If a woman subconsciously avoids men, then extra pounds become a kind of barrier that reliably protects her boundaries.
This behavior may be the result of sexual abuse or negative attitudes acquired in childhood regarding sexuality. For example, the mother was terribly afraid that her daughter would “bring in the hem”, and the father was not shy in expressions, commenting on the teenager’s frank, in his opinion, clothes. And he reacted instantly, protecting himself from the threats associated with sex and relationships, with the help of weight gain. And today, food helps maintain that physical form that keeps us safe…
Decision: learn to build boundaries in communication with men, work out the topic of security. Allow yourself to be attractive by untying the knots “sexy means defiant”, “femininity equals provocation” in your head.
5. Love expressed in treats
Sometimes an unhealthy relationship with food is the result of a relationship with your mother. First, the mother feeds the child, and feeding brings pleasure, gives a sense of security.
Then mother and grandmother express their love and care through food: “I baked it especially for you”, “finish it, don’t upset me”. A stable bunch is formed in the head “food equals peace, tranquility, safety”.
Decision: learn to feel the love of loved ones through their attitude, comfort through self-care, learn to relax and rest without the help of food.
6. Inability to understand one’s own feelings
The inability to understand ourselves, to understand what we feel, often leads to eating disorders. We eat when we are confused, confused, do not know what is happening and how we should be.
Decision: learn to understand your feelings — anxiety, shame, boredom, fear, and so on. Find out what emotional state precedes compulsive overeating. Work through this state.
7. Way to suppress yourself
Another secondary benefit: if I do not lose weight, then I will not become successful, they will not discuss and criticize me, they will not turn away from me. Breakdown is subconsciously perceived as a way of self-destruction and self-destruction. We swallow resentment, shut our mouths, thereby expressing our attitude towards ourselves. But the more we try to calm down with the help of food, the more we hate ourselves for being weak.
Decision: learn to distinguish one’s own desires from those imposed by someone else, to overcome self-rejection and self-loathing, to stop depending on the assessments of others and to be comfortable and “good”.
Food is one of the most accessible pleasures, and that’s okay. It is not normal when overeating becomes regular and takes on the features of an eating disorder. And here we must understand that it is very difficult to cope with food addiction on your own. But therapy with a specialist will allow you to find the reasons for overeating, work them out and finally stop fighting with yourself with knives and forks.