If we suddenly, for no apparent reason, begin to get upset, angry or nervous – most likely, we were provoked by a sudden unpleasant memory of some situation from the past. Psychologist Aaron Carmine explains why this is so.
When we experience strong feelings, the “emotional” part of the brain, that is, the amygdala, remembers them, along with many details of the events with which these feelings are associated.
As we grow older, these emotional memories influence the development of our personality: they shape our thinking, behavior and experiences. At the same time, we often forget the very events that once caused these emotions and which contributed to the production of certain hormones associated with emotional reactions.
In this regard, the task of psychotherapists is to restore the connection between the present and the past in order to allow a person not to “get stuck” in the captivity of uncontrollable emotions.
Often our reactions are based on past experiences and do not match what is happening now.
Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio once said: “We are not thinking machines that can also feel. We are sentient machines that can also think.” He proposed the theory that every memory stored in the brain has an emotional connotation.
So, we first of all remember what is associated with the strongest emotions. In addition, such associations help us make better decisions. After all, memory exists not only to store the facts of the past, but also to more reliably predict the future.
What happens when an emotional memory is activated? Most often, we say, do and feel the same thing as at the moment when this memory was “recorded” in our brain. In other words, we react to the current situation in the same way as we reacted to what happened at another time in another place.
As a result, we suddenly get angry, annoyed, aggressively defend ourselves or run away cowardly for no apparent reason, refusing to defend our rights. Often, such reactions are not adequate to the current situation, as they are based on past emotional experiences and do not correspond to what is happening right now.
In obscure or ambiguous situations, the brain will search for something familiar in the environment, comparing the current situation with the past, in order to identify potential threats to our security. If the brain fails to determine what is dangerous and what is not, absolutely everything begins to seem dangerous to us.
For our ancestors, hunters and gatherers, it was more important to remember the threats than the sources of reward.
A person is biologically programmed to remember everything that poses a threat or, on the contrary, promises a reward. The pleasure or pain we experience raises the status and importance of the memories associated with those experiences.
From the point of view of evolution, this is justified – events that cause strong emotions have important biological significance. Many of the lessons we learn in improving our chances of survival involve various emotions, such as fear, anger, or joy. And the hormones that are produced at the same time improve memorization.
However, for our ancestors, hunters and gatherers, it was more important to remember the threats than the sources of reward. If they failed to get something that gives pleasure, life did not end there. But biological species that did not notice the threats died out. That’s why negative memories were so important. For example, if a bear dealt with our distant ancestor, his comrades remembered that they should not go to this part of the forest.
So it is now: we don’t remember all our trips to the store or trips to the gas station, but we will not forget the day when they try to rob a store in our presence or when we douse ourselves with gasoline from head to toe, trying to fill up the car. After all, memories that are not associated with strong emotions quickly disappear, and we remember all our lives that caused strong feelings.
About the Developer
Aaron Carmine is a clinical psychologist working at the Urban Balance mental health center in Chicago.