Why do we read sad books to children

Russian parents are more likely than American parents to read books to their children that contain negative emotions — fear, anger and sadness. These are the results of a study by psychologists from Georgetown University. Let’s talk more and talk to a psychologist.

“The importance of certain emotions depends on the norms of culture”

“The hostess threw the bunny —

there was a bunny left in the rain.

From the bench I could not get down,

Wet to the skin.”

You must have read to your children the poems of Chukovsky and Barto, the fairy tales of Pushkin and Marshak… Literature is not only fascinating stories, but also an acquaintance of the child with the world of experiences. Does it happen in the same way in different cultures?

It turns out there is a difference. It was discovered by psychologists from Georgetown University (USA), comparing the answers of parents from Russia and the USA. First, the researchers asked respondents to list the three books they last read to their child and write: what emotions do they think the child will experience (or understand) when they get acquainted with the book?

It turned out that all the publications that parents in both countries buy give a lot of positive emotions, such as happiness or pride.

But our compatriots are more likely than US residents to read books to children that contain more fear, anger and sadness.

“Russian parents tend to see the benefits of not only positive emotions, but also sadness for the development of the child,” comments one of the authors of the study, psychologist Anna Leontieva. They are more likely than American parents to share ideas about the benefits of sadness, such as: 

  • “Feeling sad helps children understand what is important to them.” 

  • «It’s important that kids can let those around them know they’re upset.» 

  • “Feeling sad helps you stop and think.” 

  • «Sadness helps children to empathize with others.» 

  • “It is important to experience sadness if the situation invites this emotion.” 

  • “Sadness is usually followed by joy.” 

Ideas about the importance of certain emotions are associated with cultural norms. So, pride or aggression are emotions that distinguish a person from a group. “In the individualistic culture of the United States, both of these emotions are valued to some extent. There, children are taught to be proud of their achievements, and aggressiveness is sometimes considered a positive trait of character.

In Russian culture, such emotional states are taught to be treated with caution (“so as not to become proud”), and aggressiveness in our country is never a reason for a compliment. Compared to aggression, sadness is a way of experiencing negative events that does not separate from the group, but rather can cause empathy in others and helps to adapt to the situation without changing it.

We expected that in a more collectivist Russia, children would become more familiar with sadness while reading than in the United States.

This hypothesis was only partially confirmed.*.

The results were verified by analyzing the text and illustrations of 40 of the best-selling fiction books for preschool children in the US and Russia. Among these books, of course, there were not only books written by compatriots.

So, for example, among the most popular books for preschoolers in Russia were not only Dragunsky’s stories, Pushkin’s classic poems, but also books by Astrid Lindgren. The result of the analysis partially coincided with the perception of parents: anger and sadness are more often mentioned in Russian-language texts. A study of the illustrations has yielded more conflicting results: pictures by Russian artists are more likely to depict happiness, anger, and fear than in American books.

What do these preferences say about us?

“In the manifestation of sadness, we see more sincerity than in a positive mood”

Emotional intelligence specialist Victoria Shimanskaya

“In our country, really negative emotions are lived brighter, more freely, and this cultural feature is reflected in books. Feelings of joy and pride predominate in American culture, and we perceive a positive attitude as demonstrative and excessive.

We would rather consider sincere the expression of sadness and suffering

But our emotionality has a downside: non-environmental. We do not restrain ourselves from taking out anger or irritation on others, including our own children. And in this I see a growth area for us. After all, just experiencing emotions is not enough, you need to learn how to express them correctly, and before that — to recognize their causes.

By giving ourselves the trouble to think about it, we will quickly master the skill of managing our experiences and pass these tools on to children.

* Y. Chentsova-Dutton, A. Leontieva et al. “And They All Lived Unhappily Ever After: Positive and Negative Emotions in American and Russian Picture Books”, Emotion, November 29, 2021

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