Work more efficiently, do more, run faster, fly higher, try different things… we are so accustomed to cosmic speeds in life that we don’t even think about what unexpected advantages a slowdown or – it’s scary to think – a complete stop can give us.
I used to consider myself a person of action, I like to try new things, lead a notorious active lifestyle and look for solutions for some difficult tasks. Over the past few years, I have tried a myriad of different activities and hobbies, from creativity to severe sports. Why harsh? Yes, because “not harsh” is boring. Yoga? Longing is green, you lie in some strange positions and breathe … Meditations? No, are you serious? I’m better at boxing or mountain biking, because there is a real buzz, adrenaline, overcoming oneself, speed.
And then suddenly something happened to me. It became difficult to overcome myself. And not just difficult, but physically impossible. Well, okay, not that impossible, but the balance of power began to go into a deep minus. Living in the same frantic rhythm, to which we add our favorite work, several personal creative projects, two not very adult children and the joy of family life, has become somehow unpleasant. Life in general became unpleasant.
“Perhaps, in order not to fall completely to the bottom, you need to force yourself more,” I thought. Well, do not relax, really? Otherwise, in fact, in general, you can lie in bed all your life, memorizing serials by heart.
Sports have disappeared from life, however, as well as creativity. I didn’t have any strength at all, even from the bed I got up in the morning with difficulty
After another training session, carried out on its last legs, a very young coach suddenly approached me and quietly asked: “Paul, how are you in general, are you all right? You look kind of exhausted… maybe you should take a break from training and slow down for a while?” “And this one there too,” I thought, took my things from the locker room and rushed at a gallop further through life. And raced until my imaginary horse vanished right below me.
What happens if a horse “disappears” under a person at full gallop? Well, he probably breaks his neck. But since my horse was imaginary, I was just “ended” in a sense. Sport has disappeared from my life, however, as well as creativity. I had no strength at all for anything, and even from the bed I got up in the morning with difficulty. And I constantly ate myself for it – for the fact that I brake, and not rush forward at the speed of a jet plane.
“Polina, have you thought about really slowing down? Maybe if you stop forcing yourself to run forward, but just stop for a while, it will become easier for you? a psychologist asked me at the time. And I no longer had the strength even to habitually snap at this strange proposal. slow down? Stay? This is similar to death. “However, okay, what a difference,” I decided.
It was extremely difficult to slow down and even more so to stop. But I still managed to spend one weekend just lying in bed and doing nothing. And not frustrating about it. On Saturday I slept for 18 hours. Sunday – 14. The rest of the time I lay in bed, watched the series, ate junk and delicious food.
By Monday, I felt much better. And a couple of days later, the universe threw a sudden and very timely gift – at the all-season resort “Igora” in the Leningrad region. This is exactly what the doctor ordered, I thought.
True, I was not looking forward to spa treatments (because for people like me, this is the same longing as yoga or meditation, well, you understand), but the fact that I’m going not just “to the resort”, but to . This means that in winter you can go skiing and snowboarding, in summer you can sunbathe on the beach or learn to wakeboard, rent bicycles, and in spring and autumn you can spend time in the spa, swim in the pool … oh wait, bikes? This is for me!
Experiment “Maybe we won’t slow down, but drive as usual?” failed miserably
Having rented a two-wheeled friend, I went to explore the territory of the Igora resort. Beauty and more. A forest, a sea of trees, a lake, secluded paths, autumn colors… it’s only a pity that I didn’t calculate either the time left before the procedures, or my own strength, or the length of the planned route through the forests and hills. An hour later, I returned to the rental in a state close to fainting. Experiment “Maybe we won’t slow down, but drive as usual?” failed miserably.
In the spa center, I was expected to visit a cryosauna – a special cabin where the temperature is maintained at -85 degrees. They say it’s very helpful. In three minutes, I managed to feel like a polar explorer who went out to smoke in his shorts, draw with his foot in the snow and relax. Fatigue vanished. “Now let’s go to the gommage wrap.” Wrap? Okay, let’s go.
And here the most interesting began. While something between a massage and rubbing something useful and pleasant into the skin was happening to me, I suddenly realized that thoughts had disappeared from my head. At all. “This is strange,” the voice of my inner haste murmured in my head, barely audible. “Try to get some idea.” And I tried. And she couldn’t.
It seemed that the tails of thoughts were literally slipping out of my hands like fish and swimming away somewhere into the mist. Quiet music sounded in the office, candles were burning, I was wrapped in something warm and heavy, and at that moment my thoughts completely disappeared. As well as the need to catch them, do something and run. “Now you can just lie down,” I heard from somewhere under the water column. “Ok, I can,” my body said and shut down.
After 15 minutes, I was gently woken up by a gommage wrap specialist and asked how I felt. And I suddenly realized for the first time in many months that I feel good. “You are still waiting for chiromassage of the face in oil,” the craftswoman said insinuatingly to get rid of thoughts, depression, spleen and other familiar joys of life. By “face” they mean not only the face, but also the neck, décolleté and hands.
The magic continued, before I had time to think that, in fact, sleep was no worse than constantly overcoming myself for some reason, as I again fell into a blissful fog without the usual thoughts about everything in the world. I even had a dream. Good, for once.
I give myself permission to do nothing if I don’t feel like doing anything. And if you want, I ask myself – do you really want to? Or out of habit?
Then I tried to return to the previous state and “disperse” the brain, but the brain did not understand why this was necessary. Seems like nothing. “Now I will return to Moscow, and there everything will turn around again in the usual frantic rhythm.” I thought. But it didn’t spin. That is, it may have spun, but I have not. Because having caught this state of rest and relaxation once, the body no longer wants to let it go. And dissuades from everything that in fact now you don’t need to spend your energy.
I give myself permission to do nothing if I don’t feel like doing anything. And if you want, I ask myself – do you really want to? Or out of habit? And for some reason, it often turns out that the old desires have lost their relevance. But the ones that remain are a real treat. And they do not take away strength, but generously give them out.
Abandoning the usual and endless race, I suddenly noticed how qualitatively my communication with family and friends had changed. How creative projects have become more meaningful and deep.
True, I still look at yoga with some disdain, but maybe try meditation? There is a suspicion that, with a competent approach, they lead to the same place as slowing down – to harmony.