Contents
Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! Rapport in psychology is a very important element, without which it is impossible to form a trusting environment conducive to building contact. And today we will learn how to install it correctly.
Applications
Each direction in psychology pursues its own goal. For example, in hypnosis, rapport is necessary to subjugate the client, otherwise there will be no effect from the work. In NLP, to continue communication and achieve the intended results. In psychoanalysis and gestalt therapy — to understand what the essence of the problem is, and to provide high-quality appropriate assistance, support, and so on.
These are good intentions, but, unfortunately, it sometimes happens that some individuals try to form trust in order to obtain some specific personal benefit. That is why it is important to know what types of techniques exist in order to recognize in a timely manner an attempt to manipulate your consciousness and resist.
Main methods
Adoption
It is sometimes used unconsciously in ordinary relationships that do not involve the role of therapist-client. The easiest way to create trust. Because each person needs acceptance, therefore, he is looking for it among close people, colleagues, family members and so on. Specialists use it as a base, a foundation on which further work will be built. Therefore, this method will not give you the desired results in a short time, but will only prepare you for more powerful methods.
Think for yourself, have there been situations in your life when you told a stranger or unfamiliar person something secret and completely personal, realizing that even your closest friends are not aware of this information?
Where there is acceptance, there is freedom of expression, there is a feeling akin to unconditional parental love. That is, no matter what bad deed I do, I will still remain valuable. In order to create an atmosphere of acceptance, you should refuse to discount and criticize, even if your opinion differs.
Nonverbal
Next, physiology should be touched upon, with the help of which it is possible to influence on an unconscious level. You should simply take a pose that is conducive to yourself, or simply repeat the one in which the interlocutor is currently in.
With this technique, you will also be able to understand what is happening to him, how he feels, and even how he feels about you. It is only important not to overdo it, repeating every movement, otherwise your behavior will look like antics, which will cause a defensive reaction in the form of irritation and aggression.
I recommend that you carefully read the article about non-verbal communication, where you will find detailed information about the use of facial expressions, gestures, postures, and even the timbre of the voice.
Thinking and speaking style
This method is more difficult, and requires training and preparation, but it perfectly consolidates the result achieved by the levels earlier. So to speak, the control method. To begin with, carefully observe what exactly and how the interlocutor says, how he reacts to some information, and the like.
Once you have established the main points and you have a clearer idea of his style of thinking, start including the phrases that he uses in your speech. Here, for example, if you want to be clear, both for an auto mechanic and for a doctor of science in the field of biology, you should give examples and metaphors directly from their field of activity.
Recommendations
1. Listen
Be sure to study the article about active listening, so it will be easier for you to have a dialogue that encourages intimacy and trust, even just in personal relationships. With this technique, you will show the interlocutor that you hear him, understand, notice that you are next to him and are included in the interaction process.
2. Pay attention to similarities
The fear of loneliness is existential, that is, it is present in every person in this world, even those who avoid people, closing themselves off from them, this is only a reaction to psychological trauma. Therefore, intimacy with someone causes wild horror from the fact that there is a risk of living unbearable pain again.
So, the similarity at least in something with an unfamiliar person helps to reduce anxiety, it seems to unite, instantly forming a much-desired rapport. You just need to look closely, listen, and then, having discovered something in common, focus on it.
For example, you can combine, generalize: “We women are too sensitive”, “We, provincials, sometimes have a hard time achieving our goals”, and so on. That is, as you may have noticed, it is quite possible to find similarities with absolutely any person on the planet.
3. Follow
During a conversation, always keep an eye on the interlocutor’s breathing, intonation, the pace of his speech, and even the color of his skin. It will be difficult to do this at once at once, so arrange gradual workouts for yourself.
Let’s say today focusing on timbre, and tomorrow follow the tone of voice. So you will eventually be able to unconsciously receive the necessary information.
4. Gain experience
You can look and listen not only as an active participant in the conversation, you can also train in public transport, crowded places, even just watching the actors play, preferably films that won an Oscar. So you will gain experience, not just a theory from books or articles, but formed on your own observations and conclusions.
5. Read
Read as much as possible, so your brain will always be in good shape, which means you can quickly, timely respond and make decisions. And the article «Top 10 best books on non-verbal communication worth reading» will be just right.
Conclusion
I also recommend that you study the article on sales objections. After all, in fact, we all sell something and it is important to do it effectively if we need a result.
And that’s all for today, dear readers! If you learn to form rapport, your relationships, whether professional or personal, will improve significantly, which means your quality of life too! So strength to you, and inspiration on the way to self-improvement.