Why do we need a totem? Psychologist’s view

“She believes in astrology and compares everything by the stars”, “he has a real falcon feather hanging around his neck”, “she likes seals with skulls and bracelets with spikes”, “they have a whole collection of hares on the rack at home, porcelain, wooden, bronze and even rag ones”, “they started a third dachshund”.

Why do we choose from a variety of jewelry, clothing, household items and art exactly one thing and not another? After all, the decision is not always made consciously: “just a hand reached out, so I bought it.” But our intuitive choice has a completely logical explanation. All these things and even pets for us are nothing but a totem.

Old and new

“I don’t believe in these totem animal stories. Everyone seems to be crazy about this, – 37-year-old Nadezhda is indignant. “Why such hope for a bird or a fish that it will change our lives and decide everything for us?” However, psychotherapist Anna Efimkina is ready to argue.

“It is precisely conscious people who believe in the power of totems. They see patterns in their own lives and actions. And they learn to transform reality themselves. They can integrate their power and bring it out in the form of an animal or object to make it more visible.

Initially, the concept of a totem is closely connected with the images of animals. Different tribes had different “animal” symbols. Many coats of arms – clans, countries, cities – contain the image of an animal or a bird. “To survive, you needed a strong quality. And for one tribe one thing, and for another – another. It is important which of them is recognized as strong, explains Anna Efimkina. – Where do you get strength? At nature.

When I talked with colleagues from Kazakhstan, I asked about the totem animal. I thought they would name a sheep that feeds and warms with its wool, because historically Kazakhs are nomadic shepherds. But it turned out that their totem is a wolf: his strength is needed to save the flock.

Modern man is far from nature, animals, now we have other “pocket animals” – gadgets. We are looking for strength in the attributes of megacities. Therefore, according to the psychotherapist, the concept of a totem has now expanded significantly: it can be a smartphone, jewelry, stars by which someone checks their actions, idols, a clothing or car brand, and even a tattoo. And others still find the totem in the form of an animal. But whatever it is, how does it work?

We need a mirror

From the point of view of the psychotherapist, the study of the totem is an effective projective technique. “Imagine that you paint your eyes without a mirror. Even if you assume that you succeeded, you will not be one hundred percent sure that you did not smear anything on your face. As soon as you pick up a mirror, you immediately understand how you look.

To see what is going on inside us, it is necessary to project our inner world onto an external object. A totem is a projected force,” explains Anna Efimkina. Remember, in the Harry Potter saga, the main character at important moments in life is a deer? Harry thought it was his father, but from a psychological point of view, this is the embodiment of just the boy’s own resources. The image of a deer gave him strength and helped him survive in a critical situation.

Coincidence? don’t think

We suddenly notice that we often come across stray dogs. Or we put on a T-shirt with the image of an imposing cat. Or conversations now and then turn to fish, say, pike. This is already a topic for thought. Why did we make this choice now?

“The beast lives for itself and does not know that you have appointed it as a totem at the current moment: it was you who chose it with your psyche,” explains the psychotherapist. – From the background, consisting of familiar things, an unexpected image suddenly appears. He comes to the fore not just like that, but, as a rule, answers the questions that arise before us. As the Buddhists say, the stone itself will ask for a hand.

And if this image is analyzed, then you can learn a lot about yourself, your condition, hidden desires that our unconscious showed with the help of a totem. How to do it?

For example, you can repeat the pose of a cat from a T-shirt, fall apart imposingly, feel the same as he does. He turned his stomach, to whom? To whom do I want to expose “my belly” to be stroked? The mind will try to explain: “Yes, I just chose the blue jersey, that’s all.” But if there are other blue jerseys in the wardrobe, why did we choose the wrong one with the skull and crossbones? Perhaps precisely because no one wants to stroke us in that T-shirt.

Its – strangers

Totems can change during life, there can be several of them. Those that have worked out their tasks, we put them in a box for preservation or give them to someone. And some accompany us always.

Sometimes we carry the gender symbol and pass it on. “This means that we have been given a task that we must solve all our lives, or it is so global that we cannot cope on our own,” says Anna Efimkina.

The totem helps to recognize friends and foes. “Recently I was on the beach and paid attention to women’s swimwear. Sports style, a minimum of jewelry – these are those who, like me, came to support their body, sunbathe. And there are swimsuits with rhinestones, their mistress in full make-up, she is clearly here for other purposes.

We identify our people by tattoo, clothing, hair color, jewelry. In the old days, “not our own” meant danger, today it is information for reflection. Behind each image lies a meaning that should be recognized.

Personal symbols

“One friend told me: “I don’t wear jewelry,” the psychotherapist recalls, “and I see a cross on her neck, point to it. “It’s from a holy place!” That is, it is a symbol-reminder of the experienced spiritual uplift. It was an unexpected discovery for her that she, it turns out, wears jewelry, but with a deep meaning. And she began to deliberately bring “signs of power” from such special places.

Items of this kind remind us of who we are, what we are, what our strengths are. And if some kind of totem came out of the unconscious background, then this is definitely about us.

“We first pull out what is hidden in the unconscious, projecting it onto an external object, we realize what it is about, and finally we become like that ourselves and begin to live from this real force,” the psychotherapist explains. “If you suddenly mention a pike in a conversation, read about it, what kind of fish it is, what qualities it has now.”

Maybe you have gone into mud or, on the contrary, are you ready to show your teeth? What is it about you?