Contents
- 1. “Mistakes that were made (but not by me)” Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- 2. The Psychological Traps of Money by Gary Belsky, Thomas Gilovich
- 3. “Why Good People Do Bad Things” by James Hollis
- 4. “Modern children and their non-modern parents” Irina Mlodik
- 5. Psychogenealogy by Ann Schutzenberger
- 6. “How to start living and not screw up” Ekaterina Khorikova
- 7. The Big Years by Mag Jay
- 8. “Mental traps at work” Mark Goulston
It’s not about random misses, from which no one is immune. We want to draw attention to the recurring mistakes, to the “systemic failure” in which relationships with children and loved ones, with colleagues, money and ourselves suffer. Even recognizing them can be difficult, and preventing them is a great art.
1. “Mistakes that were made (but not by me)” Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
Not only do some of us honestly justify our unwise decisions and actions, but we also forget them—again, unintentionally. Why is it so hard for us to agree and even just notice that we are wrong?
Leading American social psychologists tell how this happens and why it is so difficult for us to admit our errors and mistakes. In short, this is what the brain requires—to keep our worldview intact and protect our self-image as smart, moral, and competent people. Nevertheless, it is worth learning to admit mistakes – this makes us more effective in actions and relationships. We more easily avoid the temptations of self-justification and less often step on our own rake.
Infotropic Media, 2012
2. The Psychological Traps of Money by Gary Belsky, Thomas Gilovich
Spending a huge amount in a store and quickly regretting it, taking out a loan without being able to pay it off, throwing away the money you donated or accidentally winning the lottery overnight … If you recognize yourself in such actions, then you are in a psychological trap. We make similar mistakes at every step, and they cost us dearly. Excessive caution in some cases and unjustified risk in others, fear of change and the power of false stereotypes, overconfidence and herd mentality – these are the pitfalls due to which we risk being stranded.
Psychologist Thomas Gilovich, with the help of journalist Gary Belsky, has taken it upon himself to help us learn to recognize and avoid the many pitfalls that keep our personal finances slipping through our fingers. By and large, this book is a kind of master class in behavioral economics. Mastering the art of spending and saving money would do well for many of us.
Alpina Center, 2010
3. “Why Good People Do Bad Things” by James Hollis
We are amazed when faced with the unsympathetic act of a good friend. We are even more perplexed when we have to feel shame for our own mistakes: “I don’t understand how it happened.” Jungian analyst James Hollis explains: the human psyche is not something solid, it also has a “reverse side”, a dark side, a Shadow. The shadow (a concept first formulated by Carl Gustav Jung) is an unconscious complex, which refers to the repressed (repressed) properties of the conscious part of the personality. This book is dedicated to how to recognize your “shadow sides” and how to work with them.
“The intertwining of conscious life and the shadow world promises great riches, as it involves a wide range of our humanity in this game,” Hollis promises.
Cogito Center, 2017
4. “Modern children and their non-modern parents” Irina Mlodik
Child psychotherapist, expert of Psychologies magazine Irina Mlodik writes about the relationships of the closest people: children and parents, grandmothers and grandchildren. About the rules and attitudes learned from childhood, which we thoughtlessly follow when we ourselves become parents. If adults have not lived adequately for some age, have not solved some important developmental task, then with a high degree of probability they will not allow children to do this, the author recalls.
The unexpectedly tough text encourages the reader to take a closer look at himself and remember his “inner child”. The reflections of Irina Mlodik, a psychologist, are complemented by her own artistic story, which is conducted on behalf of a child and makes it possible to imagine what he could tell adults if he could express his thoughts.
Genesis, 2017
5. Psychogenealogy by Ann Schutzenberger
The study of events from the life of previous generations of the family, the analysis of the characters and actions of our ancestors helps to understand our own behavior. This is what psychogenealogy does. Its goal is to help discover what can be passed down from generation to generation: repetitive events, family secrets.
Psychotherapist Ann Anselin Schutzenberger, the creator of this unique method of restoring family memory, clearly describes the mechanism of transgenerational transfer of experience, including traumatic experience. She writes about the importance of “burying the past,” “mourning it,” in order to resume one’s own life, rather than repeating traumatic events for generations.
Publishing house of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2010
6. “How to start living and not screw up” Ekaterina Khorikova
“Lay straws”, insure against a dangerous experience – such a (naive?) attempt was made by the journalist Ekaterina Khorikova, writing a manual for the generation of 20-year-olds. It seems that everything that worries young people is affected here: relationships with parents, choice of a partner, drugs, soul-searching. Learn to explain your thoughts, do not suffer about nonsense, do not try to change others, do not think that everyone owes you – such, at first glance, simple advice is given by the author. It reads between the lines: the life of the representatives of the “meme generation” is so confusing that simple rules are necessary.
The texts of Khorikova and her colleagues in the VOS media project do not pretend to be psychological literature, although they are largely based on the ideas of psychologists and psychoanalysts. Perhaps this light reminder of what is good and what is bad will awaken consciousness in some of the young readers.
Alpina Publisher, 2016
7. The Big Years by Mag Jay
Another book is a warning to the young. It turns out that 80% of the fateful events in our lives occur precisely before the age of 35. At this time, our personality changes the most. Therefore, it is now so important to understand what you want, what actions will bring benefits in the future, and decide who you really are. Unfortunately, many do not understand this and make the main mistake: they think that this is the time when “you can take a walk”, and “thirty is the new twenty”. But when these thirty are on the threshold, they understand that the work does not bring pleasure and joy, there are no special achievements, and it is generally incomprehensible what ten years of life took.
How to live these important ten years as efficiently as possible, so that later you do not regret wasted youth, says psychologist Mag Jay.
Mann, Ivanov & Ferber, 2017
8. “Mental traps at work” Mark Goulston
You have enough talent, education and skills to do much more than you do now. So what’s stopping you? Psychologist Mark Goulston works every day with those who harm themselves and their careers. It helps to identify obstacles and learn how to overcome them. Describes how to deal with defeatist behavior, how to break the cycle of ingrained negative assumptions and gain self-confidence.
Those who are deeply dissatisfied with their work or experience a paralyzing fear that makes them either inactive or make mistakes should read Goulston’s book, chapter by chapter (Infinite Delays, Going on the Defense, Inability to Forgive). Especially carefully – the end of each of them (“What to do”), in order to understand your mistakes and move forward. As a reward for perseverance, you will learn not to interfere with yourself – to find new opportunities to live and work interestingly.
Mann, Ivanov & Ferber, 2011