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A massage course, buying an expensive coveted book, a day off at the spa, an evening with childhood friends – often we put off these matters that are personally significant for us, for later (someday, not now), leaving money (time) for children and relatives for home or business use. What stops us from actually taking care of ourselves? Experts comment.
“We are used to taking care of the common cause”
One of the possible reasons is in the hierarchy of values formed in the Soviet era. Then “selflessness” was cultivated – giving up oneself for the sake of a common cause: how else could one achieve the highest results of labor, motivate people to spend day and night at work to the detriment of personal life and health?
The hierarchy of values is changing very slowly: today, for example, corporate interests are becoming a “common cause”, while self-denial remains. In addition, our fellow citizens have money not so long ago, we have not yet learned how to spend it on ourselves.
“We forget about our inner child”
The inability to spend money on yourself is a superficial manifestation of deeper problems. Let us ask the question differently: why do we not take care of ourselves enough? This may be due to a violation of maternal care in the first months of a child’s life: a tired mother did not respond to the baby’s cry, did not always support him emotionally, and the child did not feel safe.
As adults, at some difficult moment, we can also abandon our inner child: we “forget” to go to the doctor, eat the problem with junk food, smoke … “
“It’s easier for us to live by helping others”
This mindset is characteristic of communities going through difficult times. When material resources are few, and survival requires a lot of effort and time, maintaining a collective existence is more important than an individual one: “If everyone around us survives, then I will survive.”
Until now, poor families and countries live more communally than prosperous ones. The unconscious feeling that “I need less than others” is passed on from generation to generation, becoming part of the world order. And the decline in this trend indicates an increase in well-being in society.”