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From childhood, we were taught that dissolving and collecting gossip is bad. However, who among us has not experienced inexplicable pleasure, discussing the indecent behavior of a mutual friend? Who did not secretly tell a friend that X proposed to Y, but «this, of course, is still a secret, so don’t tell anyone.» Why do we gossip?
Psychologists have been studying this problem for a long time and even found that gossip can be useful. So, experts from the University of Groningen were able to prove in practice that “good” gossip stimulates our desire to improve, and negative stories from the lives of others increase the desire for self-defense.
In addition, “bad” gossip about others (even about celebrities) flatters us and warms our souls. Indeed, against their background, we immediately look more successful, happier, more attractive. At the same time, such gossip is an alarm signal, a reminder of how easy it is to become a victim of ill-wishers.
And what else makes us share information that is not always verified and pleasant?
1. A relic of the past
Professor Frank McAndrew of Knox Divinity College in Toronto offers an evolutionary perspective on gossip. He recalls that our distant ancestors lived in small groups (in fact, packs), and survival depended on each of the members. If someone has become weak or, on the contrary, is starting a coup in an attempt to seize power, it is better that all members of the collective immediately know about it.
In the ancient world, gossip was a kind of defense mechanism. Therefore, professor McAndrew suggests that love of rumors should not be perceived as a character trait, but as a social skill that we have inherited.
2. A way to relieve stress
According to Stanford University research, gossip is a way to reduce anxiety levels. As part of the experiment, scientists observed a person who learned something bad about a colleague. His stress hormone levels immediately increased and his heart rate increased. And only a discussion of the current situation with others helped to bring health back to normal.
A similar theory is put forward by scientists from the University of Pavia. They conducted an experiment involving 22 women. It turned out that when the girls gossiped, they increased the level of the hormone oxytocin, which is also called the hormone of love. It relieves feelings of stress and anxiety. Oxytocin also helps strengthen love and family ties, forms an emotional bond between mother and child. From here the next reason for gossip follows smoothly.
3. A way to rally the team
Northeastern University professor in Boston, Dr. Jack Levin, author of Gossip: Inside the Sensation, believes that idle gossip is the key to healthy team relationships. United by common secret information, employees trust each other more and feel that they are on the same side of the barricades. Therefore, bosses should not worry when subordinates discuss their decisions, appearance, or even details of their personal lives. Let them talk, but it has a positive effect on work.
The exception is rumors that harm someone’s reputation. And it is also important that they do not grow into false conjectures and do not go beyond the company.
4. A way to become your own
Gossip has an important integration function. This is one of the easiest ways to become your own, for example, at a new job. You probably noticed that with a newcomer in the first week, everyone tries not to discuss delicate work moments or personal problems: he has not yet passed the test of time. And by sharing a secret with a colleague, we show trust. The exchange of rumors indicates a certain similarity in hierarchical values, needs, or characters. This is a kind of signal: “We are in the same boat!”
John Levin emphasizes that it is easy to become socially isolated by deliberately avoiding the discussion of others. So do not be afraid of harmless gossip. In extreme cases, you can gossip about celebrities. No harm, but it’s more interesting to talk than about the weather.
5. A way to increase credibility
All the same Dr. Levin argues that the possession of confidential information «from trusted sources» increases our importance and helps to be in the spotlight. And this has a positive effect on self-esteem.
6. A way to fill an emotional vacuum
And finally, what is gossip? Idle entertainment when nothing happens in your own life. Sometimes we just need to satisfy our emotional hunger with the help of meaningless, sometimes useless information for us personally. That is why many people are so interested in rumors from the life of stars, and tabloids and paparazzi regularly earn their bread.