Why do we want love like in a romantic movie? So that an hour and a half of plot twists and turns will certainly end with a wedding, as in Disney cartoons, and an encouraging “and they lived happily ever after”, as in fairy tales?
According to a recent study by ElitePartner-Studie, one in three of us wants a relationship like in a romantic movie. Especially about such love, as in movies and cartoons, lonely people dream. According to research team leader Lisa Fischbach, this is due to the lack of worthy real-life role models that would show what a successful partnership really looks like.
This makes us more susceptible to external influences, to the suggestion that this is partner happiness. Of course, in the era of TV shows, Instagram and Facebook, this is especially difficult to avoid. But true love doesn’t need hashtags, right?
Yes, of course, Disney is great. In his stories, the ideal partner you dreamed of suddenly turns into a prince in love and transports you to his luxurious castle. Unfortunately, in reality, we are only perfect on the wave of a hormonal explosion at the beginning of falling in love. Hormones of happiness give us rose-colored glasses, but only for a while, and when the “same” partner turns out to be far from ideal, then no kingdom will help the cause.
Doubt time
According to the same study, one in eight of us question our relationships, comparing them to ideal unions. Lovers on the screen are so tender with each other – why is everything completely different with us? The couple next door never seem to argue, not like us. And a sweet couple from the neighboring department published a new joint photo from the rest on social networks.
However, the characters in the film are by no means real people, the spouses next door may well be in the midst of a marriage crisis, and photos of couples on Facebook reflect a staged millisecond of happiness. The routine isn’t perfect. Of course, in life, many do not have cinematic love at all. And how do we know that Disney princes don’t scatter socks next to the royal box? Let’s try to still stay with her husband or continue to meet with a “semi-ideal” guy.
Escape from reality
We like to escape from problems to fictional worlds. Deep down, we want at least some kind of relationship, even with a fictional character, and no one bothers us to imagine ourselves in the place of a movie or book princess. A lot of bad things can happen in our real relationships, but at least on the screen or at the end of the book, this story can have a happy ending.
We want to meet someone who will make us laugh, show a different outlook on life, surprise us, understand us like no other. We dream of pleasant nonsense, of caresses, of relationships full of love, of “butterflies in the stomach.” We want exactly what we see in these wonderful romantic films.
Maybe the whole point is that we have too high demands and we never allowed ourselves to plunge into a whirlpool of feelings when we started a real relationship?
Devaluation of declarations of love
The couple is sitting on the couch, the TV is on, the husband is flipping through the channels. A romantic shot appears on the screen – a handsome gentleman kisses a beautiful lady and whispers: “I love you.” For a husband who is a rationalistic realist, this seems implausible.
He gets bored, he changes the channel, and the woman sighs to herself: “Why does this only happen in the movies?” The husband has finally stumbled upon an interesting documentary and is quite pleased, while the wife continues to meditate.
Of course, everyone likes to hear three cherished words: “I love you.” But some couples say them at the end of every phone call or when they leave the apartment. When a declaration of love becomes on a par with “hello” and “how are you”, it becomes everyday and costs nothing more.
We are never shown how the characters of the film live after the happy ending and the credits. Who knows what we’d learn about the characters
Infatuation with love on screen often makes us lose sight of what we really like in a partner. In search of the perfect cinematic love, some of us leave relationships and embark on a new journey of passion. However, the new “ideal prince” or princess will one day show us their flaws. And then what – back on the road?
We are never shown how the characters of the film live after the happy ending and the credits. Who knows what we’d learn about the characters in Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, or Dirty Dancing? For us, real people, the second part should be filmed, in which the truth of life would be shown. Maybe then there would be fewer broken hearts and deceived dreams?
Or maybe it’s time to talk with a partner about how to make a real movie out of the routine of relationships? How to add exciting moments to your life? And again say to each other the words that have been avoided for a long time: “I love you!”