We are proud of our busyness and dream of having more hours in the day. We are fond of time management and think how great it would be not to sleep at all. The main thing that remains unnoticed is that we often create stress and lack of time for ourselves. Kira Newman, creator of the Year of Happiness course, explains how and why this happens.
Right now I can feel my stomach churning with stress. This morning I got a call from a close friend who needs support, so I couldn’t write the article in time. At any time, colleagues can write to me and ask for help with an urgent task. Besides, today I have to leave work early to get to the dentist. After that, I’ll rush home to cook dinner. I don’t have enough time and I know I’m not alone in this.
At first glance, everything is obvious: the problem is the lack of time. This is true, but only partly. Here are some scientific discoveries that will help you distinguish real time pressure from the pressure that you create yourself.
1. Lack of fun
Sociologist Susan Roxburgh conducted a study of 800 working subjects and found that when women did housework for more than 10 hours a week, they felt overwhelmed and lacked time. When the same amount of work was done by men, they did not feel anything like that. The same pattern was observed in the case of volunteer work. Men who volunteered more time were less likely to be depressed. Women in a similar situation experienced anxiety due to lack of time.
To find an explanation, it was necessary to analyze what exactly people were doing. It turned out that men were more likely to choose more pleasant types of housework and volunteer activities. They mowed lawns and coached football teams. So they entered the state of flow and felt contented. Women were more likely to perform small repetitive tasks and boring and exhausting administrative work.
Do you constantly feel an acute shortage of time? You may not enjoy what you are doing.
Not surprisingly, a day filled with enjoyable activities was perceived as less difficult and stressful compared to a day filled with complex monotonous tasks. That is why women subjectively felt a greater lack of time compared to men who spent the same number of hours on housework and volunteering.
Do you constantly feel an acute shortage of time? You may not enjoy what you are doing. So, even if you already feel overwhelmed, try adding an activity to your life that will keep you engaged and enjoyable.
2. Internal conflict
The scientists went one step further: they asked study participants how conflicting or, conversely, how consistent their goals were. Subjects who lacked work engagement noted that their goals compete with each other for time and attention. For example, the desire to succeed at work prevents you from coming home on time and spending time with your family. It was different for passionate employees: their goals supported each other. For example, healthy homemade food and time spent with family were seen as a source of motivation and strength for new achievements at work.
So the feeling of lack of time depends not only on the pleasantness of the activities, but also on their consistency with each other. Researchers have found that people who simply think of conflicting goals, such as saving money or buying beautiful things, experience more stress, anxiety, and lack of time.
If you are torn apart by an internal conflict related to a task, it may be worth simply crossing it off your to-do list.
Remember that we choose some tasks voluntarily, while others are imposed on us by society: for example, to be a good mother, you need to take your child to numerous circles and sections. If you do not do this, then you do not meet the established standards. But if you devote all your time to a child and don’t do something else — like work — then you will not meet the norm, now in terms of a career.
There are only 24 hours in a day, and there comes a point where you just can’t fit one more thing into your schedule. If you are torn apart by internal conflict related to a task, it may be worth simply crossing it off your to-do list.
3. Loss of sense of control
Often we find ourselves in a time pressure situation due to external commitments. The time to pick up the child from kindergarten coincides with an important meeting. The work shift starts at 9 am, but the bus is late. The feeling of lack of time goes hand in hand with the feeling that you have no control over your own schedule.
Scientists from Cornell University conducted a study involving 35 working mothers from low-income families raising at least one child. Women were asked to describe how they spent their days and how they were able to take care of the family. As a result, the researchers were able to identify several ways to manage time — both more and less effective.
The least successful was the «reactive» style, when women did not feel control over time. They felt tied to the clock and realized that they simply couldn’t do everything they wanted to. In contrast, women with an «active» style of time management were successful in scheduling, managing, and structuring their days. They felt more in control of their own time and experienced less stress compared to the «reactive» group.
Focus on success and act consistently. Optimize your to-do list and learn to say no
We often complain about the lack of time, not only because we are objectively busy. Often the reason lies in the fact that we do not feel control over time. This may be due to circumstances — for example, a work schedule that cannot be changed, or the presence of babies who do not sleep at night. But the root of the problem lies in our psychology.
According to researchers, some people do not consider themselves the creators of their own destiny. On the contrary, they feel that they are controlled by external forces. Because of this, they become less resistant to stress and more depressed. Gaining a sense of control over life can be difficult. To start moving in this direction, focus on success and act consistently. Start small: optimize your to-do list and learn how to say “no” to people who ask for favors.
4. High value of time
The last element of the time puzzle is money. Researchers have found that people with high incomes feel the lack of time especially acutely. As we get richer, we feel constant tension and are forced to rush.
It turns out that too much money feels like… a lack of time. One possible hypothesis that explains this phenomenon is that rich people can afford a lot, but they have only a few hours of free time — just like everyone else. So many expensive hobbies to entertain themselves with, and so little time!
Another hypothesis is based on the fact that rich people value their time more. If every hour they take a break is a hundred dollars they could earn, that time needs to be really well managed.
Lack of time is, at least in part, a product of our perception of the value of time.
According to the laws of economics, the value of a rare resource increases. But the opposite is also true: we perceive valuable (in this case, time) as something rare. In one experiment, researchers asked subjects to participate in educational consultations that «cost» a dollar and a half, or 15 cents per minute. Participants whose consultations “cost” more were more pressed for time, even though they knew they would not actually receive the money.
The feeling of lack of time is not only due to individual differences, the amount of time spent on work, or working conditions, although these factors are certainly important. Lack of time is, at least in part, a product of our perception of the value of time.
This means that our attempts to optimize the schedule, plan better and simplify do not always solve the problem. But it also means that we have more power over time than we think.