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Sometimes we find ourselves in a queue when we want to pay for an apartment, deregister a car, enroll a child in a section … But if some of us move forward calmly, realizing that the speed of progress does not depend on us, others begin to push, literally lying down on the one in front person. Why is this happening?
“A different sense of the size of personal space”
Ekaterina Dubovskaya, social psychologist.This is how a person behaves who perceives those standing in front only as an annoying obstacle. He is annoyed and does his best to “eliminate” him. By the way, our behavior in the queue is quite comparable to how we tend to behave in life in general. In addition, each of us has our own sense of the size of personal space. If it is violated, we feel discomfort. To resolve the situation, it is worth trying, without being offended, to calmly and politely ask a neighbor to keep a distance.
“We don’t want to be leveled”
Yuri Frolov, psychotherapist.The queue is annoying not only because it makes us waste precious time, but also because it has the feeling that the personality and interests of an individual person are mechanically leveled in it – it is as if they are mixed with the crowd. This feeling of egalitarianism was especially characteristic of the queues of the Soviet era (and many remember this very well …). To keep yourself and your peace of mind, try to physically remove yourself from the situation, such as stepping aside and waiting your turn at that distance.”
“Immaturity and low self-control”
Tatyana Rebeko, Jungian analyst.It is interesting that the crush in the queues usually does not occur at the tail, but closer to the beginning, when the treasured window is very close. This mechanism was described by the German psychologist Kurt Lewin: the closer the goal is, the more difficult it is for us to restrain ourselves, to behave adequately. It attracts us like a magnet, and any obstacle becomes more annoying. It is obvious that pushing, pushing, expressing their dissatisfaction, irritation, aggression in every possible way is characteristic of people with a low level of self-control. It is much easier for older, mature individuals to endure forced standing in lines.