The life of newlyweds seems to us an endless sex marathon with breaks for food, sleep and work. In fact, this situation is rather an exception. What does an active sex life in a couple depend on?
On average, newly married, and therefore happy, couples make love once every two to three days. Does this mean that sooner or later they will definitely cool off towards each other? Not at all. According to psychologists, satisfaction with sex and its intensity in marriage depend on various factors. First of all, from the personal qualities of partners.
Psychologists Andrea Meltzer and James McNulty of the University of Florida selected 278 heterosexual couples and asked them to keep a sex diary. Each episode of intimacy spouses had to record, assessing the quality and satisfaction of sex on a seven-point scale.
Each participant was then profiled using a test known as the Big Five. The test assesses personality in several ways:
- responsibility;
- openness to new experience;
- benevolence;
- resistance to stressful situations;
- sociability.
Part of the results confirmed the view that men are generally more liberated in sex, regardless of character. In couples where partners showed openness to new experiences and goodwill, sexual life was much more active, the researchers note. This indicator did not depend on the personality of the spouse.
The nervousness of both partners negatively affected the quality of sex. Such couples rarely considered their sex life to be satisfactory.
It is curious that the increased openness of the partner rather prevented him from enjoying, and in the case of the partner, on the contrary
Meltzer and McNulty have not yet found an explanation for this connection. Perhaps the point is that the openness of men leads to a constant desire for novelty and comparison of his beloved with other, real or imagined, sexual objects.
According to B.J. Foster, consultant for the All Pro Dad family development project, personality traits do not completely determine how happy our sex life will be in marriage.
“If partners treat each other with attention and care, their satisfaction will grow,” says the expert. — Each of us has our own preferences and fears associated with sex. But if you put your partner’s pleasure first, the barriers will be overcome.»