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Not everyone manages to immediately meet the same person. Many enter into a second and even a third marriage. But, according to statistics, such marriages more often end in divorce than the first. That’s why.
Of course, “every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” but experts identify seven reasons why remarriages break up.
1. Communication with the former
“Many people get married when the relationship in the first is not over. Communication between spouses continues, this undermines trust in a new marriage, ”explains psychotherapist Kurt Smith.
2. Financial disputes
“In the first marriage, the spouses have a joint budget and common financial goals, in subsequent marriages there are more significant assets. They may have personal financial goals that they worked towards before marriage that they don’t want to give up. Money in the second and subsequent marriages is perhaps the main reason for disagreement. Spouses often break up due to financial conflicts,” says family counselor Aaron Anderson.
3. Refusal of the help of a specialist
“Those who enter into a second marriage need specialist advice. He will ask questions that need to be answered before the wedding, so you will better understand your motives and get an idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthe difficulties that may arise,” says Tina Tesina, a psychotherapist.
4. No joint ownership
“In a second marriage, often people live in the territory of one of the spouses. They know how difficult it is to divide common property in a divorce. In the event of a quarrel, one of the partners takes his things and leaves, a second divorce is not as scary as the first time, ”says family therapist Virginia Gilbert.
5. Expectations Too High
“Many “run away” from a spouse in whom they see only flaws. When the euphoria wears off, similar problems arise. Expectations from a second marriage are often high, and the couple does not stand the test of family life, ”says psychologist Alicia Clark.
6. Repeating the mistakes of the past
“We want to forget the past, but we will repeat the mistakes until we analyze the history and learn about the partner’s past. Only by starting to talk about everything that happened, we will understand each other better and get rid of feelings of guilt, fear and jealousy towards former spouses. We will understand what is similar with the spouse, and what is not, find out what he dreams about and what he believes in. Acquaintance with the past helps to recognize problems and not repeat them in a new marriage, ”says Tina Tesina.
7. Children
“People are waiting for love and romance, but from the first marriages, partners have children who live with their parents permanently or part of the time. The presence of children in one of the spouses implies the emergence of additional responsibilities for the other: take the child home to the second parent or pick him up from there, arrange a joint vacation, do homework with the stepson, make a fancy dress for the stepdaughter or play football with the children. Children take up a lot of time, and you may not have the opportunity to be alone, ”comments Aaron Anderson.
The arguments given by the experts are convincing. However, many are truly happy only in the second, third or even fourth marriage. It’s up to you to decide.
Source: The Huffington Post.