Who among us has not been mistaken? But some, albeit reluctantly, admit mistakes, while others stubbornly defend their innocence, contrary to obvious facts. Why are people afraid to accept reality and admit that they were wrong?
Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes over trifles: “You don’t have to go to the store, there is still milk at home.” Sometimes more seriously: “Where to hurry, we have plenty of time before the flight!”. Sometimes in a big way: “So what if it was raining, I definitely saw this man climb into the house opposite.”
Nobody likes to admit mistakes, it is important how we behave when we are wrong. If in fact there was not a drop of milk left in the house, stuck in a traffic jam and missed the plane, did you find out that an innocent man served five years on our false testimony?
Some admit mistakes and say: «You were right, you still had to buy milk.» Others generally agree that they were wrong, but express it vaguely so that the other does not feel superior: “We were on time for the flight, but, unfortunately, we got into this traffic jam. Okay, next time we’ll leave the house early.»
The defense mechanism distorts the perception of the world to reduce the level of danger
But there are those who categorically refuse to admit mistakes, even if they have irrefutable evidence in front of them: “They released him based on the results of a DNA examination, because another burdock confessed? What nonsense, it was that guy, I saw him.
Most of you are probably familiar with the first two examples, because this is a typical reaction to mistakes. We accept responsibility, in whole or in part, but do not dispute the facts. We do not claim that there is enough milk when there is none, or that we did not miss the airport when the plane left without us. But what about when people deny the obvious and disagree that they are wrong? Why is it sickening to admit mistakes, why does this happen all the time, why do they always deny that they could be wrong?
The reason is excessive self-love. Some have such a vulnerable ego, such a fragile self-esteem and a weak psychological constitution that they see it as a threat to personal dignity. To admit that at least something was wrong, to accept reality is unbearable. The internal defense mechanism plays the combination, distorts the perception of the world in order to reduce the level of danger. This mechanism protects the painfully sensitive «I», changing the facts at the level of thinking. People are sure that they were not mistaken, and they do not feel guilty.
In the end, they say: “There was enough milk in the morning, I checked. So someone has been drinking.» When they are reminded that no one was at home all day, so no one could do it, they say: “No, I could! I checked myself, there was still milk left.” It turns out that a ghost entered the house and destroyed the rest of the milk.
In another described case, they would claim to have positively identified the intruder despite the results of the DNA test and the confession of the other defendant. If they object, they will continue to insist on their own or attack everyone who dares to argue, they will vilify the sources of reliable information. For example: “These laboratories always lie, besides, how can you trust the confession of some criminal? Why do you always take sides?»
Psychological rigidity is not a sign of strength, it is an indicator of weakness
Those who systematically behave in this way are called psychologically unstable. From the outside, they seem decisive and adamant, and these qualities are associated with strength. But psychological stiffness or rigidity is not a sign of strength, it is an indicator of weakness. Decisiveness is not a conscious choice, such people are driven by the desire to protect a vulnerable ego. Admitting mistakes is unpleasant, it is a blow to self-esteem. It takes a lot of emotional effort and courage to come to terms with reality and say “yes, I was wrong.” It’s frustrating when that happens, but most manage to get over it.
But people who can’t admit they’re wrong and can’t stand the slightest hint of their mistakes are driven by a sickly ego. It is easier for them to twist reality, to rebel against obvious facts in order to defend their case. How to relate to such behavior, everyone decides for himself. The only thing that should not be allowed is to take stubbornness and refusal to admit mistakes as a manifestation of strength and confidence, these are signs of vulnerability and psychological immaturity.
Source: psychologytoday.com