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Everything seems to be fine: you received great news, circumstances are in your favor, and life has finally presented a pleasant surprise. It would seem that it’s time to rejoice, but instead of joy, you experience tangible anxiety. Why is this happening and how to deal with it?
Something wonderful has happened: you’ve been promoted, you’ve completed an exciting project you’ve been working on for a year, or you’ve managed to pay off your loan in full. It would seem that at such a moment you should feel only relief and calmness, right? It turns out not always. It often happens that good news or success causes us even more anxiety than rush at work or trouble.
“With anxiety, everything is not so simple: it is a very ancient reaction, firmly “sewn” into the brain. The systems that control fear are very fast and don’t always have time to distinguish between excitement and anxiety,” explains clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manley, author of Joy from Fear. According to her, therefore, in a joyful moment, we may experience those physiological symptoms that we usually associate with fear and panic.
But even if you don’t confuse excitement (“good” stress) with panic (“bad” stress), returning from a “peak of euphoria” back to earth can trigger anxiety. If the body is accustomed to constant anxiety, then the joy of good news can paradoxically cause a feeling of “something is wrong here” simply because this feeling is unusual for us. As a result, the body never gets out of its high alert mode.
Fortunately, with the unconscious beliefs can be overcome
Such a reaction can be even stronger if we are convinced that something bad will inevitably follow a joyful event. “You may have been in trouble in the past when everything was fine and peaceful,” explains clinical psychologist Joe Eckler, author of I Can’t Fix You Because You’re Not Broken. As a result, instead of enjoying the moment, you tensely expect a catch.
Anxious reactions to good news can also arise for other reasons. Maybe you grew up in a family where success was met with black envy, or you often had to lose something soon after you got it, or you constantly feel in danger when you have something to lose. “In childhood, we learn a lot unconsciously,” reminds Eclair. Fortunately, unconscious beliefs can be dealt with. Here’s what the experts advise for those who can’t convince themselves to stop worrying when things are going well.
1. Admit you are anxious
The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem. “By realizing that good news triggers anxiety over and over again, you at least know what to expect,” explains Carla Marie Manley. In a moment of tension, remind yourself that your experience is not anxiety caused by fear. Excitement is due to the fact that something wonderful has happened, and you have the right to rejoice in it. But for this way of thinking to become habitual and natural, it will take practice.
2. Allow yourself to worry
Don’t fight the feeling of impending doom, allow yourself to immerse yourself in it a bit to think about a plan of action in case your worst fears are confirmed. For example, you have been promoted at work, and you are afraid that colleagues will become jealous of you or react negatively to the news. Think in advance how you will behave if this happens.
“When we allow ourselves to worry in order to find a solution, the anxiety usually goes away,” says clinical psychologist Alisha Clark. By quickly making an emergency plan, you will give your anxiety some outlet, and it will begin to subside.
3. Take your time, take a break
When the “alarm system” of the body is active, slow action may give her the signal “all is quiet.” Slowly circle the eye surroundings, trying to notice every detail, even the color of the chair on which sit. Listen to the sounds from the street. Usually glance stops at one point, and this exercise will help you not to succumb to the instinct. Try to move slowly and smoothly as possible and breathe deeply.
4. Don’t dismiss good news
“If the good news is not something incredible and unexpected for you, your brain is less likely to consider it a mistake and turn on “alarm mode,” says clinical psychologist Anna Kress.
For training, try from time to time for at least a few seconds just to enjoy a pleasant moment. It does not have to be something important and global – you can also enjoy a soft pillow, a hot shower, the taste of your favorite drink. Gradually, you will teach your brain to perceive positive emotions more easily.
5. Talk to people you trust
If you are still unable to overcome constant anxiety and start hoping for the best, Anna Kress advises considering psychotherapy. The therapist will help you not only understand the underlying causes of the inability to enjoy, but also teach you how to better cope with emotions.
Source: The Huffington Post.