Why do I do charity

Lydia Moniava, manager of the children’s program at the Vera Hospice Assistance Fund: “Something joyful happens all the time”

“I became a volunteer at the age of 16. There was such a project in RCCH*: volunteers walked around the hospital together with children and took photos. My friend and I decided to participate, and I really enjoyed talking with the guys, they seemed to me much deeper and more talented than ordinary peers. Probably because, unlike healthy children, who can do a variety of things (go to school to study, walk in the yard), they have a rather small range of activities – they can draw, write, compose … As a result, they devote a lot of time to creative things, and that’s why they’re doing great. And although they do not feel well at the same time, I came to them not because I felt sorry for them, but because I was interested in them.

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One day I decided to go to work in the Gift of Life Foundation. I hoped that then I would have the opportunity to spend even more time in the hospital. But it turned out the opposite – as soon as a person comes to work for a charity, he does not see children at all, he sits with papers, reports, a computer, collects money … On the other hand, I understand that families with sick children have so many needs that in the first place you need to help them with this. I write about some of our needs on Facebook. I always try to write from myself personally. And so as not to offend anyone: neither the mother of the child, nor the father, nor doctors, nor friends. Nine years ago I did the same thing, but on LiveJournal. At first, she simply told stories about what I had in the hospital, and when there were a lot of subscribers and they began to offer help, I realized that I could ask her.

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If we collect money, we will never tell scandalous stories about, for example, how a father left the family and does not help, or how a doctor in a hospital scolded someone … This is parallel information, it does not help anything. We do not publish photos of sick and unhappy children, on the contrary, we post photos that parents like. We do not write what is unpleasant for the family, what does not make sense to make public … We just say that we need a ventilator. We explain: if he is not there, the child’s life will turn into hell, because he will remain forever alone in intensive care. If we collect the money, he will have a normal human life, a normal childhood…

Why is it possible to collect such amounts? Because we are friends with the families we help, we love them. If a person does something very important for very important people for himself, everything works out. It is important not to work formally – then everything is found. The problem is that we have 170 wards. They all need something, but you can’t post 170 requests a day on Facebook. We are very grateful that people in general help the fund, transfer money, then we can cover other needs.

I have enough strength, because when you communicate with people, they talk not only about horror and grief. Life consists of pleasant little things, for example, the nanny showed live butterflies to one boy, the temperature of another decreased, and he felt better, the teacher came to the girl for the first time, and now she can study … Something joyful happens all the time. As a result, it turns out that we have much more good than bad.”

Varvara Turova, actress, social activist: “No one is obliged to help anyone”

“It’s interesting to me, because every person is interested in doing what he can do. If I see that, thanks to my actions, a person is alive, but could be dead, or a person is free, but could be in prison, it turns me on incredibly. But there is a deceit in this, fate deceives us, because after the first success it seems that it will always be like this, and it will be like that once out of ten. A lot of things don’t work out. But what happens, brings such satisfaction that I want to continue.

There is no good word in Russian to define my status. No matter how we say “social activist” or “human rights defender”, it still turns out to be a Komsomol worker, a pioneer. And this immediately leads to another meaning, which is read by many when I write about something, for example, on Facebook – ardor. And in the most unfavorable sense, something like idiocy, and I would not like to think that I make such an impression. In fact, I am a rather pragmatic person, as a rule, there is always a specific meaning and purpose in my actions. And if, relatively speaking, I stand on a stool and start screaming very loudly, I do it on purpose, knowing full well why. For example, I understand that I need to write in such a way as to attract as much attention as possible. Or I need to get the attention of specific people. Then I need to make a big fuss so that they get it too. And it works.

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I can’t say that it’s hard for me to do this. That is why I feel embarrassed when they begin to praise me. It all started by chance. In my opinion, it was inconvenient or embarrassing for me to refuse … And then, when it turned out, I was hooked. Now a lot of people write to me. And this is my biggest problem. Because desperate people turn to me, including those who have sick children, and I can’t imagine anything worse. And they literally write the following: “There is only one hope for you.” There are many, many such people, I receive 20 letters a day… There is a big risk to say: “I can’t help everyone…” The main thing here is intonation. In no case should you pronounce these words, rolling (from fatigue) eyes. I hope that I am catching this process in myself, because it is terribly important not to lose the ability to hear people. I really can’t help everyone, but sometimes it helps if I just answer them, honestly say that I don’t know how and what to write to them, how to refuse … But it becomes easier for them simply because they are not indifferent to them. Many do not need money, but support, because they feel alone and lost. Giving support to me is much more difficult than writing a post on Facebook so that people start transferring money. Everything is simple here: you need to talk about it regularly and loudly. And without aggression: no one is obliged to help anyone. This is a very important thing. Once you forget about it, people stop responding.”

Tatyana Krasnova, lecturer at the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University, coordinator of the Envelope for God community**, co-founder of the Galchonok Foundation: “It’s a strong drug”

“Most things I do for my own pleasure. I really like being a decent person, and I like myself when I manage to behave decently. And this means – do not offend, do not get angry, help, improve, correct. I am convinced that this is a strong “drug” – a feeling of satisfaction from one’s own behavior. And it is not unique to me alone. Children are often brought to our charity meetings. I will tell you an amazing story. Once a boy of about five came to us. His mother brought money for the treatment of the same five-year-old boy, but with cancer, a Tajik from a poor village. And her son brought his best car as a gift to this unknown boy. New. Packaged. He felt sorry for the car, but his mother told him about the sick boy, and he decided. Brought. Gave the most expensive – almost crying. If only you knew how we praised him! We told him that he had done something incredibly important. And he was happy. Moreover, he wanted to repeat this amazing feat. He comes to us with his beautiful mother. He draws pictures for our wards. I think his mother is raising a great son who knows well what real joy is. In fact, everything is done for her sake. ”

* Republican Children’s Clinical Hospital, Moscow

** See more on the community site g-envelope.livejournal.com