Hello, dear readers and readers of my blog! The topic of today’s article was suggested to me by a friend, who asked me the following question: «I constantly notice that I envy beautiful girls, how can I deal with this and live in general?» Women’s competition, like friendship, differs from men’s, has its own characteristics and nuances, if only because of greater emotionality and vulnerability.
General information and reasons
More beautiful women who are nearby suggest thoughts about their own imperfection, and this causes a lot of anger. But, unlike men, who usually compete more clearly, namely, with the help of physical strength and open aggression, the weaker sex prefers deceit, manipulation and cunning.
Let’s look at the main reasons why and to whom girls envy
- Appearance and health. Moreover, sometimes it happens that the competing woman is actually also very beautiful. But the problem is that she wants to be beautiful in the singular in this case. Otherwise, you will have to share the attention of others, their seeing off and evaluating views.
- Temperament type. Yes, it happens when one is an introvert and the other is an extrovert. The first one really wants to be always in the spotlight and have a large number of friends. Or vice versa, the second one dreams of a couple of faithful and close friends, whom it is realistic to turn to in case of trouble for help, who will listen and accept her for who she is. You can look at the types of temperament here.
- career and success. Not everyone realizes that sometimes you have to sacrifice something in order to reach a certain level. And that I had to put family happiness on the altar in order to give my free time to work, or give up my femininity and vulnerability, because in the business world you can’t relax and give up, you must always be in good shape. Or, for example, in order to live a rich life, you rarely need to see your loved one so as not to interfere with his earning, and this sometimes makes it so lonely …
- Having children or pregnancy. Usually, ladies who cannot get pregnant in any way, over time, begin to experience a lot of negativity towards women in position or on maternity leave.
- Relationships and family life in general. Single girls very often dream of a family, and if a girlfriend is in a happy marriage, this can cause a lot of emotions, because there is such an illusion that married people live happier and more joyful. The horror is that sometimes they try to do harm by seducing this very husband, pointing out his shortcomings and performing other manipulations.
Recommendations
1. If it happens that you think that your girlfriend is prettier than you
It is worth doing to increase the level of your self-esteem. And besides, a method that is well described in an article about ways to get rid of envy will be appropriate. Namely, to transform anger into recognition. Take a closer look more objectively, is everything in her life perfect, is there really nothing better than you? Without knowing you, I still won’t believe if you say yes.
2. We ourselves bear responsibility for our lives
So, if someone is more lucky than you, then you need to make more efforts, and not give up, feeling helpless and hating the lucky ones. If you stop and look at your life, you can find a large number of nuances that are more valuable than what your opponent and competitor has. It is only important not to devalue your work, skills and so on. Just because of the surging feelings of envy, we sometimes forget about the good things that used to give joy. Write yourself a letter with at least 10 paragraphs that begin with the words: “I am grateful … that I have …”, “I am happy that …”. And also re-read the recently published article, from which you will learn how to live here and now.
3. What to do if you notice that you are competing with you, and not kindly?
If this is a person close to you, try to pay attention to the good that she has. It is only important to be sincere and talk about the things that you really like. Maybe your girlfriend bakes cooler pies than you, or knows how to choose inexpensive, but very stylish clothes? At such moments, you can even try to lean on her, asking for help or tips. This will give her the opportunity to feel her importance in your relationship, to look at herself differently. As a last resort, you will have to stop communicating if she goes too far in her feelings and tries to harm you.
4. How to stop being nervous in the presence of brighter young ladies?
Yes, it’s easy, after hard work on yourself, namely, by writing a list in which you indicate what kind of woman you are. A sense of inner identity will give you self-confidence, and even in the company of younger girls, you will feel great. So what are you? Feminine, gentle, caring, or maybe sweet and naive? The list must contain at least 20 items. Think and feel.
5. Learn to find the positive
That is, if a friend gets married and is expecting a baby — fine, you also want this, but at the moment you can do whatever you want, you are more free and not limited. The moment will come and you will also be in a position, but for now, enjoy the fact that you allow yourself to drink a glass of champagne at a party or wear a short dress.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! No matter how much you envy others, it is important to remember that you have one life, and the time spent on living anger, resentment and discontent cannot be returned back. Learn to appreciate and protect what you have. And the ability to recognize an opponent will help you a lot, if only by the fact that she will be able to share experience in the area in which she was in a more advantageous position. Still, you will make fewer mistakes along the way and be more successful if you learn to rely on others, and not try to “dunk” them.
The material was prepared by Alina Zhuravina.