It doesn’t matter how charming they are or how harmless their behavior seems. None of us can feel safe around narcissists. It is not known at what point they will use their skillful manipulations. And they always come back into our lives. And that’s why.
“I see the goal, I believe in myself, I don’t notice obstacles” – this is about daffodils. They won’t rest until they get what they want from you. Even if for this you need to sit in ambush or return for what you want again and again. Why it happens?
You hurt his ego
Once you have managed to get rid of his or her control, your life is no longer in his power. He has lost his influence over you and cannot leave it like that. And so he returns, taking his entire arsenal of manipulation tools. Flattery, criticism, praise, cold detachment – narcissists are sure that what worked on you before will work this time.
Perhaps you broke up with a narcissist a long time ago and no longer communicate. You met someone, and he or she, according to rumors, did too. And suddenly you get a message with a simple: “Hello.” Or, for example, a link to an article on a topic of interest to you. You’re flattered: this person still remembers what you’re into!
But be careful – this is not an innocent gesture at all. The narcissist wants you to re-like him, open up and become more vulnerable. And when your defenses fall, it will take effect.
he needs you
Enthusiastic admirers are as necessary to a narcissist as blood is to a vampire. So, if you managed to leave his “fan club”, such a person will try to return you – otherwise his ego will suffer.
PREDATOR IN AMBUSH
A narcissist doesn’t come back into your life right after a breakup. No, he patiently waits until you forget what happened between you and how he behaved. If you’re dating someone else after that, the narcissist will most likely wait until your new relationship falls apart so he can be right there and lend a shoulder. Maybe then you will go limp and decide to give him a second chance.
Such people know how to instinctively choose the right moment. Narcissists always have a plan. And every gesture they make is part of that plan. So, for example, a small gift from them is not a sign of attention and care, but a way to get to you and remind you of yourself.
How dangerous is the re-invasion of a narcissist into your life? First of all, it poses a real threat to your emotional state and well-being. Even if such a person pretends to have returned to support you, he is always driven by his own interest.
Narcissus at the door: what to do?
Try not to react at all. Of course, the narcissist prefers praise and admiration, but at worst, your negative emotions will do – he will have something to cling to. So do not lose your temper and do not enter into an open confrontation.
Do not open fire, because in the end it will turn against you. Even if it seems to you that you have tightly closed the door behind the narcissist, do not lose vigilance: he can return at any moment.
But, by understanding how he works, what techniques he uses, what sore points he is likely to put pressure on, you can protect yourself and show the manipulator that you are no longer a victim.