Why dads are valued more than moms in our country – opinion

If you’ve already branded my forehead “rabid feminist”, you’re wrong. I am for equal rights for men and women, yes. But I do not mind when a man holds the door, shakes his hand when getting out of the car, or takes part in raising children. That’s about the attitude towards children and I want to talk. More precisely, about the attitude in society towards moms and dads.

Item 1. Who owes whom and how much

As soon as a woman gives birth, she immediately becomes a must. To your child, of course: to feed, bathe, take care, groom and cherish. If the father takes part in all this, he is a fine fellow and a hero. If not – well, he’s a man, he works, he supports his family. But, first of all, raising a child is also a job. I will even say more, sitting with a baby around the clock is a hell of a job. Secondly, the payment of child benefits after childbirth does not stop. This means that the mother also contributes to the maintenance of the family. And she lost her salary not at all of her own free will. After all, they made children together, right? But we stubbornly believe that if dad gets up at night, helps to bathe, walk, play and do his homework, it is time for him to kiss his feet, watch with adoration and be touched in every possible way. See for yourself: how often do you hear that such and such is a bad mother? And that such-and-such is a bad father?

Item 2. Single parent – norm and anomaly

Such a phenomenon as a single mother is quite familiar to us. Did your father abandon his family? Refused to participate in raising a child? Happenes. It’s a matter of everyday life. Men are like that. Polygamous. What to take from them. Alimony pays (if he pays) – and thanks for that. But the words “father” and “loner”, put side by side, produce the effect of an exploding bomb. If the mother left the family, it is definitely a hyena. I threw the child away as much as possible. The father didn’t fuse the baby to the grandparents? A hero worthy of a lifetime monument. Why? Why is it normal when a woman is raising a child, and heroism when a man is? But let’s not talk about this “female destiny” with reference to “In the world of animals”.

Item 3. Money issue

This is already to the question of divorced. In most cases, the child stays with the mother. Dad gets freedom and, if desired, visits to the child on weekends. Well, there is also alimony. Which end abruptly as soon as the child turns 18. If anyone has forgotten, now children at the age of 18 are just finishing school. That is, according to the logic of the legislators (who are mostly men), the newly released youth is already quite capable of supporting himself. In fact, yesterday’s student usually goes to study further. And the mother has to support the student alone. After all, there are very few fathers who, of their own free will, continue to fork out further. An attempt to amend the Family Code in 2015 failed. Fair? Not at all.

Let’s make a reservation – not all men are the same, no. There are even those who do not consider it shameful to take urinals to the laboratory instead of their pregnant wife. But this does not change the attitude of society towards them: the duty to educate and raise children, first of all, on a woman.

There is one such picturesque case shared by the mother of a newborn on a social network: it turns out that her husband went to the clinic with the baby himself for scheduled appointments. Without her. At this time she could exhale a little, clean up slowly, and even – incredible! – take a shower. The responsible daddy alerted the pediatrician. In her opinion, only a single father is capable of such heroism. Therefore, already on the second or third visit, she carefully asked: “What happened to your mother? She’s alive?..”