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Have you ever tried to get rid of an old bad habit? Did you make promises to yourself that you couldn’t keep? If yes, then welcome to the human race. And meet: this is your brain.
Habit — second nature
A few weeks ago, I made a mixture of nuts and dried fruits and sat in front of the TV. The next evening I did the same. On the third night, I was craving nuts as soon as I thought about watching the show I had recorded. It’s amazing how quickly the habit of eating in front of the TV started.
I felt like Pavlov’s dog drooling when the bell rings. I began to salivate at the thought of the TV, which was now associated with my new favorite treat. Although I was really hungry the first night, by the third night I was already eating out of habit, unconsciously heading for nuts despite still feeling quite full after dinner. Neuroscience explains why habits have such power over us and how we can become victims of our own habitual behavior.
Anatomy of habits
Everything we do, feel and think is reflected in circuits of neurons in the brain. Neurons, or brain cells, communicate with each other at a gap called a «synapse.» One neuron releases chemicals — neurotransmitters — into the synapse, where they are picked up by the receptors of the next neuron.
The human brain is made up of billions of neurons. Each neuron can form connections with 10 other neurons, resulting in trillions of synaptic connections. These interconnected neurons form the circuits that underlie habits.
The more we do something (eating in front of the TV, riding a bike, playing a musical instrument, learning a new language), the stronger the neural connections that support this habit become. Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuroscientist in the 40s, noted that when a neural connection is formed, the activation of one neuron leads to the activation of all others, with the result that the entire neural circuit is strengthened.
These ideas are known as Hebb’s theory: «There is a strong connection between neurons that fire at the same time.» Neural connections support our habits, and habits strengthen neural connections. That is, biology shapes behavior and vice versa.
We are what we do
Scientists have proven that experience affects neural connections. Everything we do changes our brain. If I continue to eat in front of the TV, this habit is «wired» into neural connections. Behavior will change the structure of the brain. This is a rather sobering thought. From this perspective, we are what we do.
Be careful what you do. The more we repeat something, the more likely we are to do it in the future. For a habit-driven brain, there is no difference between good and problematic behavior. Repetitive actions, thoughts and feelings simply build up in the brain into ever stronger neural connections.
What do we do? Are we doomed to live on autopilot under the control of our habits? While my habit of eating in front of the TV only affects me, others can hurt relationships. If I constantly interact with my husband in a disrespectful manner, this behavior will become part of who I am in the relationship. And this can provoke his negativity, destroy our intimacy. Thus, we become victims of our behavioral habits in relationships.
Are we prisoners of our habits?
And yet we have a choice. We can mindlessly reproduce problematic behaviors, actually becoming prisoners of our habits. Or take a step back, think and analyze your behavior.
After three nights with nuts in front of the TV, I realized that I was acting on the machine, and I did not like it. So I decided to use my prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that allows you to reflect on your actions. I thought about extra calories, and most importantly, about the fact that I do not want to eat unconsciously.
I immediately got rid of these habits. Now I only eat nuts when I’m really hungry, not because I’m Pavlov’s drooling dog. In marriage, I try very hard to be mindful and not fall into the traps of emotional response habits. I try to keep my high goals in mind and act in accordance with my values.
I don’t have to sit in the prison of my automatic reactions. I learned to stop, take a deep breath, and think about the kind of person I want to be in a relationship. I can choose and am able to change my behavior when I notice that I have unconsciously fallen into the trap of my habitual reactions in a relationship.
We are able to change and adapt
Even though habit is second nature, we are able to change and adapt. Our brains are constantly changing in response to changes in the environment that surrounds us. Adaptability is the secret to our success as a species. Our task is to take control of our own adaptability and use it to our advantage by choosing who we want to be.
Of course, we do not have absolute freedom. We come into this world with certain genetic characteristics, limitations, temperament. But we have much more opportunities to become the people we want to be than we used to think. Our genes do not determine us. And the secret lies in neuroplasticity — the ability of the brain to change.
A decade ago, scientists believed that neuroplasticity was unique to children’s brains. Indeed, the young brain is highly adaptive and shaped by experience, changing and evolving as the child is cared for (or not cared for) by its parents or others in their role. Everything is new for a small child. It absorbs everything and is formed under the influence of the surrounding world.
We are not doomed to be victims of our past or genes.
Thus, in addition to genes, we are influenced by the environment in which we grow up. In recent years, scientists have made a startling discovery that the adult brain is also plastic, able to change. We can learn and develop by changing our brain, changing our whole life.
It turns out that experience not only changes neural connections, it also affects gene expression. Genes are turned on or off by experience and environment (this is called epigenetics). This groundbreaking discovery about the ability of the adult brain to change is encouraging for those of us who want to continue to develop and learn as we get older.
The opportunity to change your habits and learn new things throughout your life is inspiring. We are not doomed to be victims of our past or our genes. But it is much more difficult for an adult brain to change than for a child. We will have to work on what comes naturally to children.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can both acquire habits and change them. Because everything we do changes our brains, we can either get caught up in habits over and over again, or decide to change them, take a new path, and acquire new habits that are more in line with our values. You can live unconsciously, on autopilot. Or you can choose another path. And this choice is yours.
About the author: Mona Fishbein is a clinical psychologist and author of Loving the Brain: Neuroscience and Couples Therapy.