A mother of two children was convinced by herself how difficult it is to get pregnant in her fifties.
Englishwoman Tessa Dunlop spent 5 years of examinations and treatment, 7 IVF attempts and 35 thousand pounds (almost 3 million rubles) to become a mother again. During this time, she experienced three miscarriages, and one happened already in the second trimester.
But Tessa did not give up, and six months ago her long-awaited baby was born – daughter Elena. After that, the woman wrote a column for the Daily Mail, why you can’t wait until 40 to have a baby.
“On the one hand, my story proves that nothing is impossible,” says Tessa. – However, later motherhood is often accompanied by a painful background. I had 5 years of despair, longing and broken hopes, 5 years of pain – physical and emotional. “
Tessa gave birth to her first child at 34 – a year before joining the ranks of the old-born. In Europe, this status is awarded to women 35 years old.
“But for me then this definition seemed comical and archaic,” says Tessa. – Indeed, in our time, 40-year-old women give birth more often than adolescents. One in 25 women gives birth at the age of 40 – this is a recent UK statistic. ”
So Tessa felt young and healthy.
“I looked young (at least I thought so),” she says. – And I certainly didn’t consider myself old-born. But people around started making remarks like: “You better not drag out your second child if you don’t want Mara (my daughter) to be the only one.”
Everyone knows how annoying such advice is. Therefore, Tessa only rolled her eyes in response and mentally went over all the reasons why now is not the time for a second child: dismissal, marriage problems, the death of her father.
“Besides, if I gave birth without any problems at 34, a few years of the break won’t play a special role, will it? – reasoned Tessa. – But how wrong I was …
So here’s my message to younger women: please don’t wait! Don’t go through what I went through. At 40, you will not be more fertile than you are now. There will never be a perfect timing. Later my husband and I revived our marriage, I found a job, recovered from the loss of my father. It turned out that everything is possible. Everything except the birth of a child. “
With a aching heart, Tessa recalls the first time after treatment for infertility she saw two strips of a pregnancy test:
“Crazy joy, a delightful sense of anticipation … And then it all collapses, and instead of indescribable happiness – tears, convulsions, bleeding and hellish pain,” – says the woman about a miscarriage.
“At any age, having a miscarriage is devastation. But when there is practically no chance of pregnancy left, it is especially difficult, ”says Tessa.
Obstetrician Roger Smith, an IVF specialist, cites statistics: in a 40-year-old woman, a first trimester miscarriage occurs in about 38% of cases, and at 45 years of age – in 70%.
“It is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a pregnancy until 12 weeks, as poor egg quality often leads to chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo,” says the doctor.
“I was not alone,” says Tessa. “I’ve seen women my age, with grim faces waiting for IVF consultations they couldn’t afford. Or those unfortunate people who doubled over in hospital corridors and sobbed silently at another loss. A friend of mine had seven miscarriages before finally giving birth to her second child at 45. ”
In addition, the older the woman, the higher the risk of maternal death.
“There are age-related issues like heart disease that you don’t see in new mothers,” says obstetrician Roger Smith.
Fortunately, Tessa’s pregnancy proceeded without problems, but later it turned out that she had a low location of the placenta, so she had to do a cesarean section. But now everything is in the past, and Tessa recalls these five years as a bad dream.
“I’m so happy that I don’t even get tired,” the woman says, embracing her long-awaited miracle.