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The XNUMXst century is the era of singles. Adults are increasingly living alone. Romantic relationships are rarely long: quarreled — fled. Why is this happening? Let’s talk about the four most common causes of loneliness.
The easiest way to blame yourself for your loneliness. But personally, I recommend blaming Plato: he was the first to say that the absence of the second half is a cause for concern. This was around 400 BC, and since then, single people have been uncomfortable.
When you see how others walk, holding hands, hugging and quarreling, you begin to feel the absence of a partner especially acutely. But the truth is that in the UK alone, one in three adults is single. So stop thinking that you are alone because you are unattractive, impossible to love and impossible to live with. The reasons are completely different.
1. You don’t meet promising partners.
It is impossible to meet someone while sitting at home alone. But even spending a lot of time at work, we are also deprived of the opportunity to make acquaintances. And even if we do social work and travel a lot, this does not always give us a chance to meet the right person.
But the “just until it’s time” approach doesn’t work: you’ll sit and wait for the right moment for years. If you want to find a partner, you need to look for him. Make it a rule to finish work on time at least twice a week and go on dates, meet up with friends, and meet new people. Even if your company is exclusively family people with whom you have dinner on Saturdays, ask them to introduce you to someone.
2. You fear relationships but call it picky
Many of us have been burned in past relationships, but few have managed to deal with it, especially if we have experienced infidelity and abuse. Negative experiences make us doubt ourselves and believe that in a new relationship we will have a repeat of the nightmare. Instead of sorting out the past, we begin to deny it and hide our insecurities behind the high demands that we place on a potential partner.
3. You don’t fit into the standard relationship model.
No matter what we say, romantic love is still inextricably linked in our minds with marriage. It is believed that relationships should be monogamous and last a lifetime. But personally, such a model may simply not suit you. Today, it is not necessary to get married or get married in order to gain social recognition. But if a person is polygamous or asexual, it is not easy for him to admit it and find someone who shares his views on life.
4. You are happy without a partner and live life to the fullest.
We constantly hear about how important it is to find a couple and share life with a loved one. But almost everything we do with a partner can be done with friends, relatives, acquaintances, or alone. Even giving birth and raising a child without a partner is not as difficult as it used to be.
Remember: loneliness in itself is not a problem. You can not start a permanent romantic relationship and still be friends, communicate, love and enjoy life. Everything depends on you.
About the Author: Nichi Hodkson is a journalist.