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You met the man of your dreams – kind, smart, sexy. There is only one “but”. He’s already busy. Why do they want other people’s partners more often than men who are free from relationships?
The first time I heard that she likes a man in a relationship was from a classmate. And although she was not going to fight him off and understood that they could not be together, she often fantasized about how their life together could have turned out. Subsequently, both friends and my clients confessed to me like this.
Why are young, interesting, often not lacking female admirers attracted to unfree men? This phenomenon has been confirmed by many studies and is called “copying the choice of others” and is present not only in people’s lives, but also in the animal world.
If a man’s partner is attractive, his rating in the eyes of women rises sharply
In other words, like those men who have already been chosen. This signals that they have the necessary qualities to build a successful relationship. The weaker sex is much more likely to fall under the influence of the already made choice of other women than the strong one, who shows a little more independence in this matter.
Here are some facts about busy men and the reasons why they seem more attractive.
His partner must be pretty
The attractiveness of a partner is more important for the fairer sex than how the man himself looks. In other words, the more beautiful they find a woman, the more desirable her partner is. If he meets a woman who does not seem to be outwardly interesting to her rivals, his rating in women’s eyes goes down.
He shouldn’t be too close
Women need a symbolic confirmation by others that a man is worthy of attention. But they also need to feel that he has not yet fully decided on the choice of a companion.
The more sexual partners a woman has, the less interested she is in unfree men.
The most desirable were those men who were simply considered to be in a couple. Of less interest were those who were clearly in love with their companions. In last place in terms of attractiveness were married men with children. If a married man did not wear a wedding ring, this immediately aroused more interest in him.
Most women don’t go beyond fantasy
Just as my university friend admired the unfree guy from the outside, but would never take steps towards him, most women leave such men in their fantasies. Only those who call the current relationship painful and without a future and are in an unstable emotional state are more likely to send signs of attention designed to interest a man.
There is an exception to every rule
Psychologist David Wineford, as a result of his research and observations, concluded that the more a woman had sexual partners, the less interested she was in those men who had already been chosen. This confirms that life and emotional experience makes a woman more confident and independent.
About the author: Madeleine Fujir is a professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut University, co-author of The Social Psychology of Attractiveness in Romantic Relationships, and author of the Dating and Mating blog.