Why are leaders with vulnerable egos dangerous?

He never admits mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Sometimes we trust our intuition too much, sometimes we simply miscalculate our strengths or lose sight of important details. One way or another, no one is immune from mistakes. It is not in our power to foresee everything – but we can learn from our mistakes if we analyze them.

But for a person with a vulnerable ego, admitting a mistake is tantamount to signing his own helplessness. The stubborn unwillingness to take responsibility in such people can be both conscious and unconscious.

A deep fear of weakness and loss of face leads such people to tweak history in their favor without even realizing it. They can be sincerely convinced that their plans were thwarted by competitors, enemies, or an unknown elemental force.

He is constantly on the defensive.

This can manifest itself as a general “pricklyness”, a tendency to react to real or implied attacks on oneself. Often a person is so afraid of provocative questions that he uses the tactics of a preemptive strike. It doesn’t matter if there is aggression in the question itself, the answer will be inappropriately harsh if the person feels threatened in it.

“Were you upset about something this morning?” – “Of course not. I don’t get upset. I am a rational person, I always approach everything with a cool head. What should I be upset about?” As if a bad mood, or any human emotion in general, is a sign of weakness. A frank conversation with such a person is impossible. His wariness prevents getting to the point, and the wall he builds does not make it clear his true intentions.

He behaves inconsistently

Leaders with vulnerable egos like to make decisions that no one expects from them. For example, publicly praise a team member or subordinate who made a mistake, or discuss an important decision with advisers, and then replay everything at the last moment. On the one hand, such inconsistency can play into the hands of the leader, giving him a reputation as a dexterous tactician. On the other hand, in an environment where the rules can suddenly change, people will feel fear, insecurity and apathy. And this will inevitably affect the overall quality of decisions.

In part, this behavior reflects his desire for safety. He is afraid of being predictable, afraid that detractors will find out too much about him and take him by surprise.

The biggest fear of such a person is to become an object of manipulation, to allow others to use him for their own purposes. But confusion arises here: what the leader perceives as pressure on him personally may actually be a desire for dialogue. In the case when it comes to the interests of a large number of people, such an installation can lead to disruption of communication within the system.

He is insincere

A person with a vulnerable ego is always carefully concerned about how he will appear in the eyes of others. As a result, everything he says about himself is like a meticulously edited press release. Try asking such a person about something personal – for example, what he is afraid of, what he dreams about, what he understands or does not understand.

Most likely, after his answers, you will have a feeling of insipidity and emptiness: as if instead of a live concert, you listened to a sequence of notes generated on a computer.

Another feature that betrays vulnerable “supermen” is the tendency to translate emotional issues into the plane of reason. If you ask how your interlocutor feels about this or that matter, he will most likely begin the answer with the words “I think.” If you try to return the conversation to the topic of feelings, you will run into a misunderstanding: “this is exactly what I’m talking about.” The thing is that feelings for him exist only as deliberate positions.

He is jealous and distrustful

“Perhaps as children, such people heard conflicting signals from their parents,” muses Jeremy Sherman. – When a child does not receive clear evidence of love, he grows up incredulous and suspicious. As a result, he experiences difficulties in relationships with other people. Afraid to trust and open up, such a person constantly tests partners and friends for loyalty.

Once in power, such a person may become even more suspicious. He often considers criticism of his organization or associates, dissatisfaction with the policies pursued as a personal attack. In such a situation, the feedback mechanism fails, and the system it leads becomes inflexible and inert.

He doesn’t like change

The distance that separates the leader from the consequences of his decisions only makes matters worse. He is accustomed to assessing what is happening in terms of how it threatens his position.

If things don’t go as planned, his brain builds this information into a scenario of conspiracy, treason, or attack by external enemies that he can understand. One way or another, changes destroy the safe zone built by him and therefore they are perceived by him as a danger that needs to be fought.

He “infects” others

The internal vulnerability of a leader can become a problem for the entire organization under his leadership. Distrust breeds distrust, and a culture of avoidance of accountability leads to a constant “transfer of arrows” at different levels. The “I am absolutely right” attitude usually implies that someone nearby will definitely be at fault. In such conditions, self-protection becomes the main concern of employees and colleagues. And usually it takes the form of an attack on someone who is weaker or within reach.

In such a team (or power system) intrigues are constantly woven, and any initiative fades and gives way to fear and revenge.

About the author: Jeremy Sherman is a philosopher and author of articles on psychology.