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They are always ready to help, console or give advice. They remember your date of birth and your mother’s middle name. They are the kindest men you know, but for some reason you are in no hurry to start a relationship with them. What’s the matter? Psychologists explain.
Good guys fool themselves
These guys are overly caring, gallant and try to anticipate every desire of a girl. Why don’t they reciprocate?
Psychotherapist Robert Glover believes that good guys are not as simple and selfless as they seem. They enter into a secret contract with the girls: they take care of them, even if they are not asked about it, and the girls show attention and care in return. And they start dating.
From the outside it looks strange and funny. Girls consider such guys a little intrusive, but at the same time they regret and allow them to be around.
“What girls don’t usually realize is that the good guys have come up with this contract for themselves,” says Robert Glover. – And they are sincerely surprised when their caring friends suddenly become indignant because they are not reciprocated. Guys feel like girls are cheating on them because they don’t do their part of the contract.”
Excessive concern for good guys is only a disguise for their shortcomings.
“Men who are friends with women for a long time are usually not very attractive from a physical or social point of view,” says psychologist Jesse Marzhik. – They try to compensate for their shortcomings and complexes by paying more attention to girls than more successful and brutal men. In other words, their kindness is only a disguise for their shortcomings.”
How to distinguish a “nice guy” from a man who is ready to be your friend?
Here are a few features:
– All the actions that he does are aimed at seducing a woman.
He likes to talk about how women prefer the bad guys.
He is sure that good manners and courtesy make him irresistible.
He complains that women don’t know what they want.
Can they count on reciprocity?
Psychologist Adam Grant believes there is a chance for reciprocity if they are willing to wait. Many girls are so accustomed to care that they can not do without it.
Jesse Marzhik is sure that such guys can only count on friendship. If they are not satisfied with the role of a friend, they must change and forget about the image of “good”.
For starters, try to become more attractive to the girl you like.
Start going to the gym and look after your appearance, find a good job and think about raising your social status. Do what your lover finds attractive.
Nice Guys Are Considered As Friends Also Because They Don’t Talk About Their True Desires
Such changes require time and energy and do not guarantee that the beloved will reciprocate. “Tell the girl about your intentions from the very beginning,” Jesse Marzhik offers an alternative. “If your feelings are unrequited, end the relationship.”
Good guys are perceived as friends also because they do not talk about their true desires, while other guys immediately confess their feelings and are persistent.
Friendship with a girl you like is a road to nowhere. A relationship in which one side wants more than the other can give is doomed. You will inevitably experience disappointment.
At the same time, each of us heard about the romantic relationships that arose between old friends. Sometimes it takes time or some alcohol to see a friend in a new light.
Don’t soap operas teach that the one and only is the one who has been by your side for many years?