Contents
How does femininity arise? Is it just about anatomy and hormones, or can it be brought up? Are women born or rather become? Biologists, anthropologists, psychologists have opinions on this matter … and they do not always coincide.
Probably all families in history sought to find out the sex of the unborn child. It would seem that with the advent of ultrasound diagnostics, the problem disappeared. It wasn’t there! As it turns out, one cannot even judge with final certainty a child who has already been born. This, of course, is not about anatomy, but about the psychological side. Who does a small child feel like – a girl or a boy? What gender does he aspire to belong to, whom will he choose as his partners when he grows up? All these questions relate to the concept of “gender identity”, which arose relatively recently, about 50 years ago. Gender in psychology and sexology, according to the definition of sexologist Igor Kon, is any mental or behavioral properties that are associated with masculinity and femininity, with male and female principles. Although we often use this word in a narrower sense, as “social gender”, referring to the socially determined roles of men and women.
But before talking about the difference between sex and gender, it is necessary to deal with boys and girls. Sigmund Freud believed that the awareness of gender is formed at the age of about three years (see “About it”). It is at this time that boys begin to feel the desire to completely possess their mother and perceive their father as a rival. Girls, having discovered their undoubted anatomical difference from brothers or familiar boys, perceive it as a manifestation of their own inferiority. Unconsciously blaming their mother for this, they seek love and comfort from their father. This is how the Electra complex is formed: the desire to possess the father and rivalry (or even jealousy) in relation to the mother. Overcoming this complex allows you to feel like a woman in the future and build relationships with the opposite sex.
About it
“Essays on the Theory of Sexuality” by Sigmund Freud
Ignoring age-old taboos, the author analyzes the foundations of human sexuality (AST, 2006).
“Secrets of sex. Man and woman in the mirror of evolution” Marina Butovskaya
Informative and witty – about models of sexual behavior of men and women (Vek 2, 2004).
“The Origin of the Brain”, “Atlas of the Human Brain” Sergey Savelyev
A biologist’s view of a human being as a biological species and the evolution of its main organ, the brain (Vedi, 2005).
Myths and evidence
Freud’s theory has enough opponents. One of the main arguments is very simple: boys and girls behave differently long before the age of three, in fact – from birth. Doesn’t this mean that male or female behavior is “programmed” biologically? At first glance, the remark is correct. So, it is generally accepted that girls are much more sensitive and receptive. If a baby starts crying next to a newborn, she herself immediately bursts into a cry. And boys in the same situation often do not react at all to the experiences of their neighbors. In addition, if two objects are shown to newborns – a human face and a mechanical movable structure – then girls generally hold their gaze longer on the face, and boys on an inanimate object *. Girls, as a rule, start talking earlier, and is this not evidence that the need for communication that accompanies them all their lives is also inherent in them by nature itself?
This is not yet proof, psychologists object. In their opinion, the emotionality of girls and their need for communication are not necessarily biological, innate properties. American scientists Joe Cunningham and Lawrence Shapiro (Joe Cunningham, Lawrence Shapiro) believe that life itself from the very first days forces girls to develop and show these qualities**. They argue that boys are born stronger and more resilient, that is, they have a better chance of survival. And in order to equalize these chances, girls have to shout louder and look for every opportunity to be heard and understood. With physical development, the question of survival, of course, is removed. But the skill remains. And as they grow older, girls still express their feelings and emotions more easily, retain a greater propensity to communicate and empathize than boys. The same reasons can explain the famous female intuition.
Other researchers go even further, denying behavioral differences between girls and boys at an early age. Psychologist, professor at Boston University (USA) Leslie Brody questions the initial emotionality of girls and the activity of boys. In her opinion, the results of the experiments do not give grounds to assert that the behavior of boys and girls in the first months of life differs in any significant way***. Today this point of view is gaining ground. And scientists are already quite confidently declaring, for example, that more active boys and more obedient girls are nothing more than a myth.
“Who are you, child?”
In 2010, a very unusual kindergarten was opened in Stockholm. Thirty-three of his pupils seem to have no gender. In any case, the staff makes every effort to ensure that children perceive themselves that way. Educators even deliberately invented a pronoun of the middle gender, which does not exist in the Swedish language, in order to avoid the words “she” and “he” in communication with children. Among the toys there are dolls, cars, and building kits, but employees strictly ensure that no one can influence the choice and preferences of the child. And most of the famous children’s stories, such as “Snow White” or “Thumbelina”, are not in the local library, because they abound with “gender stereotypes”. Sweden is known for its liberal views and years of struggle for full and final gender equality. The creators of the kindergarten believe that in this way they relieve children from the pressure of society, giving a unique chance to deal with their gender inclinations on their own. Many psychologists are worried about the consequences of such an experiment, but so far the number of people who want to send their child to an amazing kindergarten far outnumbers the number of places in it.
The wish of the parents
If there is one type of behavior that girls are less predisposed to from birth, it is aggression. The fact is that aggressive behavior is due to hormonal causes. This is confirmed by long-term observations of patients suffering from hyperplasia of the adrenal cortex, which is responsible for the production of male hormones. Girls born with this disease are more “androgynous”: they are more aggressive than their peers and prefer toys and games traditionally intended for boys, and they tend to spend time in the company of children of a different sex. However, proper treatment gives consistently good results. It is important to note that such treatment combines both hormone therapy and a competent educational approach: maximum attention and patience. In this case, excessive aggression gradually disappears, and the girls return to the dolls and the company of friends.
But if you do not take into account aggressiveness, it turns out that not so much depends on nature. But the role of parents in shaping femininity is very important. It happens that they want a boy, but a girl is born. Then there is a risk that, unconsciously guessing the desire of the parents, the daughter will try to behave like a boy (out of a naive, but all-powerful childhood fear of losing parental love). The attitude of parents towards boys and girls is fundamentally different, whether they realize it or not, anthropologist Marina Butovskaya points out: “Boys are more often picked up, but they are treated less carefully than girls. On the contrary, mothers talk to girls more often, and do it in a more gentle voice” (see “About it”). Thus, from the very first days of life, parents instill in their children belonging to one sex or another and the corresponding model of behavior. Gradually, the child learns to understand, and then to predict the reaction of parents and strives to correspond as fully as possible to their ideas about how a girl or boy should act in a given situation. “Adult responses to an infant’s emotions and behavior have a significant impact on how the child subsequently experiences and interprets their own feelings,” says psychiatrist Alain Braconnier.
When it’s hard to argue with nature
In the early 1970s, a Canadian couple had twin boys. However, at the age of eight months, one of them, due to a mistake by doctors, lost his penis. Parents and specialists decided that in such a situation it would be better to change the sex of the child. The boy underwent a successful plastic surgery to shape the female genital organs. So at the age of two, the boy John turned into the girl Joan. Of course, she did not remember anything and did not know anything about her gender by birth, but she constantly showed boyish tendencies: she preferred games and toys for boys and was known as a tomboy in a skirt. At the age of 14, the deviations in her behavior became so serious that, after consultations with psychologists, her parents were forced to reveal the truth to Joan. From that moment on, the girl cherished the dream of returning her true gender and realized it at the age of 25. Joan underwent another gender reassignment operation, becoming John again. Later, John even got married and, together with his wife, raised several adopted children, quite successfully coping with the role of father and husband *.
* M. Diamond, K. Sigmundson «Sex Reassignment at Birth: Long-term Review and Clinical Implications». Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 1997, vol. 151 (3).
Two big differences
Still, it would be a mistake to reduce our gender identity to upbringing. It is easy, of course, to say that girls play with dolls, and boys play with cars, because it is precisely such toys that their parents give them. But how, then, to explain the results of an experiment in which baby green monkeys were offered a choice of various toys? The males chose the cars while the females took care of the dolls!****
We have to admit that the behavior characteristic of a particular sex has a biological basis, although social factors can significantly affect it. The difference in the structure of the male and female brain also speaks in favor of this conjecture. “The most important difference is that the limbic system and the cerebral cortex are developed differently in men and women,” explains biologist Sergei Savelyev. – The cortex (it is responsible for conscious perception, analysis, comparison, choice) of the brain of a man contains about 11 billion nerve cells, while a woman has about 9 billion of them. But in the female brain, the limbic system dominates (an older area of the brain that controls physiological, hormonal processes, emotional and instinctive behavior)” (see “About this”). It is known that the amygdala – paired brain structures that play an important role in such emotions as fear and aggression – is larger in men, and the hippocampus, which is necessary for memory, is larger in women. These differences arise as a result of the combined influence of genes, hormones and environment. But the personal differences between men and women are much more pronounced than previously thought: this difference is close to the difference between two biological species! In terms of the totality of personal characteristics, the intersection of the male and female samples was only 10%. The most striking differences are observed in the level of sensuality, sociability and anxiety (higher in women), on the one hand, and emotional stability, dominance, high normative behavior and suspicion (higher in men), on the other. At the same time, according to other data, qualities such as computational skills, general speech abilities and leadership potential, although often considered to be gender-specific, do not actually differ between men and women*****. Of course, these facts are no reason to underestimate the importance of education. Nature lays the foundation, which we obviously cannot change. But what kind of building will be built on this foundation? What do parents want to see their daughter, brothers – their sister, teachers – their student, friends and lovers – their girlfriend? There is something to think about.
* S. Baron-Cohen «The Essential Difference: The Truth About The Male And Female Brain» (Basic Books, 2003).
** J. Cunningham, L. Shapiro «Infant Affective Expression as a Function of Infant and Adult Gender». Unpublished manuscript, Brandeis University, 1984.
*** L. Brody «Gender, Emotion, and the Family» (Harvard University press, 1999).
**** Evolution and Human Behaviour, 2002, № 23.
***** М. Del Giudice et al. «The distance between Mars and Venus: Measuring global sex differences in personality». PLoS ONE , 2012; D. Pfaff «Man and Woman: An Inside Story» (Oxford University Press, 2010).