Contents
Why am I always so stressed?
Psychology
Our own expectations and impositions are often the cause of our nerves
Stress is our daily bread. Work, family, our partner or even free time, or rather, the lack of it, are generating conflicts that many times we do not know how to resolve. But and why are we so stressed? “A schedule that is too tight, problems in our relationships, both personal and at work, or above all the perception of the degree of motivation and demand we have” lists psychologist Cristina Pérez Simón, coordinator of Siquia, as some of the greatest “stressors” to those that we face on a day-to-day basis.
But, we must bear in mind that, although they are common, the causes of stress cannot be reduced to the individual. «They depend on each person, on the resources that we perceive that we have to face different situations and on our understanding of the world», Says the psychologist. “How should a boss be, how should my partner or how the driver in front of us should behave, that different way of perceiving things is what determines the” stressors “we have,” he adds.
Not only does our perception of the world influence, but an essential factor when it comes to analyzing the cause of our stress is to assume that many times it is an almost intrinsic phenomenon of the society in which we live. «Now we give him a lot value to professional development, but we also want to get to everything “, says the psychologist and continues:” We want to be good parents, a good partner, great professionals, and obviously our time is limited. It is difficult to reconcile everything and that generates more stress.
Unable to disconnect
Also, protected by the times in which we live, the use we make of technology affects our stress level. On the one hand, there is the inability to disconnectWell, we carry our mobile with us all day, many times one more work tool. “Even if it is thought that, for example, if messages related to work reach the cell phone we are not going to read them, if only the cell phone rings and our mind has dedicated a second to thinking about it and we have disturbed our calm,” says Pérez Simón.
On the other hand, there is the use we make of technology as an evasion tool, which creates a paradox. As the psychologist explains, many times with the objective of abstracting We turn to mobile phones, but we don’t do anything specific, and time passes without us noticing. He comments that “we spend so much time on technology” that we end up losing what little free time we have, which makes “that we feel that we have lost our afternoon, and therefore the stress level increases.”
Ignoring the pressure and stress we feel is not the way to get rid of it. Cristina Pérez Simón argues that learning to «decrease the sensitivity» with which things affect us has two faces. In part it can be positive, since it allows us to increase what we call resilience. “This helps so that, if something similar happens to us again, it can be less intense and help us to have a greater learning.” But, on the other hand, that “thought that we can do everything” can be harmful, because “it is impossible to never fail, and you have to understand that nothing happens if you fail or do not reach everything.”
What should I do if I am stressed?
Not ignoring how we feel, being aware of the concerns that we carry, is key to be able to combat it. “The first thing is to identify the cause that generates this stress,” advises the professional. «Next we must become aware of how we feelWhat is happening in our body and mind ”, he continues explaining and comments how many times stress is most felt in the body, which manifests itself in what we call anxiety.
“By identifying it we have already walked 50% of the way, we recognize it and many times we are aware of the nonsense that this stress is causing us.” «In this way we manage to relativize the value and give it what it really has. Most of the causes are someone’s opinions, comments, value judgments, which are still opinions, not absolute truths, “concludes the psychologist.