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Stress can lead to much more serious consequences for the body than we think – especially if we are talking about uncontrollable stress. About what it is dangerous and how to deal with it, says a psychologist.
We use the word “stress” to describe a variety of our states: anxiety, discomfort, tension. But from a biological point of view, stress is just a reaction to novelty. Therefore, daily subway trips to and from work can hardly be considered stress: one way or another, we are ready for what awaits us there, we adapt, we adapt.
Stress is a biological reaction, and in this sense, nothing has changed in billions of years. In moments of stress at work, we turn on the same mechanisms as our ancestor, on which the tiger was rushing. Our body is preparing to defend itself. Nature has come up with two main strategies for this.
“Hit-Run” or “Freeze, Die, Resurrect”?
We have two types of reactions in our arsenal: “fight or flight” and freezing. The first is best illustrated by the parable of the frog that fell into the vat of milk. Choosing to fight, she churned butter and escaped. Such a strategy is relevant in extreme conditions: for example, during a war.
In everyday life, oddly enough, those who freeze win. Realizing that it is useless to fight, they slowly adapt to the changed conditions.
This strategy is illustrated by the results of an experiment with aquarium fish. Having limited the supply of oxygen to the aquarium, the researchers noticed that the fish were divided into two groups: some began to rush about, some froze, saving oxygen. It was the “frozen” fish that survived: their panicked brethren were poisoned by the level of adrenaline.
THE ENEMY NEEDS TO KNOW IN THE FACE
Despite the fact that a person by nature strives for development, cognition, discovery of something new, this new must have limits, boundaries. We must feel confident in the future, we must know that we can influence it, we are able to control the situation.
Otherwise, uncontrolled stress arises, which poses a threat to health and can lead to the development of neurosis and depression. It appears in case of impossibility:
- adapt to the situation
- avoid the situation
- predict the consequences and end of the situation.
Uncontrolled stress leads to a violation of three functions: cognitive (thinking), affective (sensory) and motor (everything that concerns our movements). Most of all, the psyche is traumatized by the inability to establish control over the situation.
A striking example of how people were driven into uncontrollable stress and what happened to them afterwards was the labor camps in Nazi Germany, where the Germans were sent – opponents of the Nazi regime.
The rules and conditions in the camps were constantly changing: the prisoners did meaningless work, they never knew for sure what time their working day would begin and end. As soon as they began to get used to the rules, they changed to the opposite. People were placed in a situation that they could not explain, control, predict in any way, and this gradually introduced them into a state of “learned helplessness”.
But it turned out that this condition can be dealt with.
Among the prisoners was the psychologist Bruno Bettelheim. He realized that in order to withstand uncontrolled stress, you need to eliminate at least one of the three conditions for its occurrence. Yes, he could not control where and when he would work, what exactly he would do, what time he would go to bed and wake up, but he could decide when to do exercises, what exercises to do, how many times and when to brush his teeth.
When the brain focuses on what we decide, predict, what we ourselves influence, it is not subjected to uncontrollable stress. Therefore, it is so important to create an “island of control”, logic and consistency.
Whip without gingerbread
Fortunately, few of us find ourselves in such extreme situations today. The fact is that the easiest way to introduce an adult into a state of uncontrollable stress is to deprive him of financial stability. And this is often abused by employers. In a corporate environment, it is generally accepted that when a person adapts to work, begins to perform it confidently and reaches a certain level, he becomes comfortable and stops moving forward.
Therefore, in order for the company to grow and develop, it is necessary to periodically – no more than once every three years – take employees out of their comfort zone. How? By driving them into a state of stress: changing something in terms of work or pay. Some employers drastically reduce the salary part and change the bonus system, others increase the sales plan, and still others take away the customer base from employees.
In general, from the point of view of the company, this is the right approach: it is necessary to change the conditions periodically, otherwise stagnation occurs. But once in such a situation, the employee ceases to control how much he earns, does not know whether he can pay off the loan, mortgage. This situation greatly affects his self-esteem, reduces his productivity and loyalty to the company.
If, when conditions change, you do not communicate with each employee, do not explain to him why this was done, what it will give, how he personally can regain his usual level of income, then the business will ultimately only lose.
The main thing is to build a system
Suppose we find ourselves in such a situation, but we cannot radically change it overnight (for example, quit). How to deal with stress in this case?
1. Paint a picture of the future in as much detail as possible. What job do we want to find? What will we do there? What will it give us? At the same time, evaluate whether our plan is realistic, whether there is such a place of work that we dream of. If dreams are far from reality, it is worth correcting them.
2. No matter how bad the situation is, build a system in chaos and find in current circumstances плюсы. It can be anything, any little thing that is important to you: flexible schedule, pleasant environment, closeness to home, a floating lunch break (which means the opportunity to do some of your own business at this time).
No matter how trite it sounds, it is necessary that in life, besides work, there was something else: a gym, a swimming pool, a hobby. It is important to know that the working day will end and after us something pleasant awaits us, planned by us, something that we can switch to.
Unloading is necessary, otherwise even a change of work does not always help
To avoid such situations in the future, prevention is important. Experts advise changing jobs every three years. This will allow you to develop, gain different experience, and be aware of the market situation. In this case, changes in the company and the transition to a new job will not become stressful for you.
Of course, in the short term, you can lose from this: both in position and in money. But in the long run, whoever moves wins.
Stress in a child: how to help
It is no secret that our children are exposed to much more serious stress every day than we are at their age: at school, much more is required of them than they once were of us. Uncontrollable stress occurs in children when they cannot explain to themselves what happened, understand its causes. How to help them?
1. It is important from an early age to teach children to pronounce each situation. Why did this happen? Why did the other person do this? How to make sure this doesn’t happen again? When punishing a child, explain to him what his act entailed this punishment. Do not limit yourself to the phrases: “And you think!”, “Go and think about your behavior!”
2. It is necessary to explain to the child that the painful situation for him is temporary, that it will end soon.
The teacher yells at the child, but there is no way to transfer him to another school right now? After analyzing the behavior of the teacher together with the child (whether he always behaves this way and with all students), you can discuss with him the time period for transferring to another school. If the child knows that he has to endure until the end of the quarter or school year, it will be easier to cope with the situation. At the same time, go to a new school with your child, meet the director, walk along the corridors so that the child has a clear picture of the future.
3. Finally, you need to teach your child to look for positive moments in any, even the most acute situation.
Did a friend tell the whole class your secret and everyone laughed? This means that you should not trust him with secrets anymore, this will save you from mistakes in the future. By teaching this to a child, we learn ourselves, which means that it becomes easier to fight back stress.
About expert
Svetlana Grunina — Team leader of the first profiling research center .