Who’s paranoid?

What does the term “paranoia” mean? Paras in Greek means “about”, noos – “mind”. That is, we are talking about a smart person, but not quite, but with certain features. “In the specialized literature, the paranoid type is also called stuck because of the presence of such a quality of character as perseverance on any one decision.”

First of all, we are talking about the paranoid type, that is, not a mental disorder, but an accentuation of the personality. That is, if a person has this component clearly expressed, he will show a tendency to form overvalued ideas. And he will strive to realize them in all possible ways. “Essentially, paranoia is an active perseverance.”^*.

How to detect in yourself or in your loved ones the signs of such personality accentuation and how to communicate with such people?

Self-test questions

• I am always alert and carefully monitor what is happening around.
• I hide my feelings and thoughts so that no one can use them to harm me.
• I suspect others of bad intentions.
• I believe that if they treat me well, it means that it is beneficial for them or they are going to use me for their own purposes.
• I’m looking for details that will support my point of view. The big picture doesn’t matter.
• I do not forgive insults and dream of punishing my offenders.
• I notice any violation of my rights.
• I see no reason to trust people; I have experience when yesterday’s friend turned into an enemy.
• I know that I am constantly underestimated.

If you see matches in more than half of the items, it may be worth talking to a specialist about it.

Favorite phrases of a paranoid personality

• “This is not the time to relax.”
• “I don’t see anything funny about it.”
• “You have to be more serious.”
• “You can’t afford to be disrespectful.”
• “We don’t know yet how it will all end.”
• “Everything must be foreseen.”
• “They should be brought to clean water.”
• “Another injustice has been committed.”
• “Envious people all around.”

What feelings are not characteristic of the paranoid type?

• Feelings of shame
• Guilt
• Sense of humor

If a paranoid person has feelings of guilt or shame, his psyche uses powerful defense mechanisms – denial and projection. The paranoid completely excludes these feelings from awareness: he denies that he can have them, and attributes them to others, pointing out their base motives and unworthy behavior.

Lack of a sense of humor is associated with suspicion. The joke causes anxiety in the paranoid: what if they are going to laugh at him too? Laughter makes a person relax – this is unacceptable for a paranoid person: he constantly remains vigilant.

If you recognize one of your acquaintances in the above signs, then a few simple rules will help you in communicating with him **. It is important to remember that people with a difficult character most of all need sympathy and support. “No one suffers more from their behavior than they do,” says psychotherapist Christophe Andre.

Rules of conduct with a paranoid

• Be clear about your goals and intentions.
• Strictly follow the rules of courtesy.
• Constantly maintain contact, refer to laws and regulations.
• Let the paranoid sometimes feel like a winner – but in the situations you choose.
• Look for allies on the side.
• Don’t miss the opportunity to explain the misunderstanding.
• Don’t criticize the paranoid’s self-image.
• Don’t do things that you can complain about.
• Do not slander the paranoid, he will know about it.
• Do not engage in political discussions.
• Don’t become paranoid yourself.
• If this is your boss, leave him or become a faithful servant.
• If this is your employee, in case of a conflict with him, first of all consult a good lawyer.
• If this is your partner or life partner, seek the help of a psychiatrist.

^* S. N. Savinkov. Characters. How to learn and tame (Peter, 2013)

^** L. Francois, A. Christophe “He is a schizophrenic?!.. How to deal with difficult people” (Generation, 2007).

Additional literature: Ts. Korolenko, N. Dmitrieva “Personal disorders” (Peter, 2010).