Who is the Wild Woman and how to find her in yourself

The tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it …

In 1989, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, an American Jungian psychoanalyst, published the best-selling book She Who Runs with the Wolves: The Female Archetype in Myth and Stories. Using the example of ancient legends, she told how a modern woman can hear her inner voice, which is already tired of desperately “howling at the moon”.

The book contains legends from all over the world. Including those familiar to us from childhood – about the Bluebeard, the Ugly Duckling, Vasilisa the Beautiful and the Red Shoes. The discovery of Clarissa Pinkola Estes is that the stories that we read in childhood carry far from childish meanings.

For example, Bluebeard is a parable about how a naive girl gets married in order to get the status of a married adult woman before her sisters and provide herself financially. She does not recognize the “blue beard” of her tyrant husband: she idealizes him with all her might in the hope that he will soon change and family happiness will come.

The tale of Vasilisa the Beautiful indicates how important it is to learn to defend your boundaries. This is a story of growing up, the separation of a girl from her mother and the formation of an independent woman who is not afraid to take risks and go into the dark forest to gain wisdom (get fire for the hearth) and burn those who have been sitting on her neck for years.

Every story is a metaphor. Behind any fairy tale lies a guide to action in real life. The heroines are archetypes (sustainable patterns of behavior) that underlie the Jungian method of psychotherapy.

Mother or Priestess?

Victoria Schwab, Jungian analyst

“Archetypes can give incredible psychic powers and power over life. Jung offered us a method according to which all the deep meanings of the behavioral model and symbols of human evolution can be found in a single information field. These symbols belong to the world and serve its evolution.

According to ancient natural cycles, the formation of femininity has always taken place according to certain laws and repetitive rhythms. Like spring, summer, autumn and winter, like the four elements, you can track the rhythms of evolution in the minds of each individual woman.

Mother. At this stage, a woman decides for herself the issues of basic security, the ability to nourish herself correctly and qualitatively, fill herself emotionally and mentally, and take care of her inner child.

If we don’t basically have an inner spiritual mother figure, we feel lost. We do not know who we are, we are lost, as if a child were left without patronage and support. It is the inner mother who helps to listen to our feelings and find personal boundaries, protects our physical and emotional comfort.

Mistress. This archetype is associated with our realization in society, when a woman learns to take responsibility, set goals and make decisions. In the literal sense, she becomes the mistress of her life. If something goes wrong, she feels anxious and worried about the future.

Here it is very important to understand what place in the world we want to occupy: who to be, how to express ourselves, what values ​​to put into practice. We enter into a dialogue with the outside world. If a woman herself does not cope with this task, she projects the functions of the Mistress archetype onto others: she enters into co-dependent relationships, depriving herself of financial, social and emotional freedom.

Normally, the Mistress reaches out to people, maintaining very wide boundaries. She has enough of her own resource, which is why she values ​​independence so much. You have probably seen such women: next to them there is more “air” – everyone wants to touch, be near, learn the art of managing resources, time and attention.

Mistress. At this stage of development, it is very important for a woman to become the very source of life, strength and joy, full of infinite tenderness and beauty, but not to lose her individuality in relations with other people.

The state of the Mistress is about maturity and sexuality, the ability to enjoy, receive and give. At this stage, a woman is able to build deep, trusting relationships without falling into the co-dependent states of a guardian mother or an infantile child.

Priestess. The main secret of the Priestess archetype is a deep connection with the highest creative principle. Here, a woman moves away from her ego – childhood traumas, complexes, anxieties, in order to be in a state of deep peace and unity with the world.

In other words, the Priestess realizes that she is above everyday problems. She is not afraid that she will fall out of love, rejected or hurt, because she understands that negativity is an integral part of life, without it it is difficult for a person to appreciate true happiness. This is the strength of the priestess: it is impossible to “tame” her and force her to go against her desires, because she is not amenable to blackmail and manipulation.”

Where are Wild Women found?

Anna Balakshina, Jungian analyst

“The Wild Woman is that part of the female soul that is deeply connected with nature and creativity, possessing both strength and trust in her own voice. This is the energy that we often lack so much in everyday life. If you know the feeling of loss of strength, elusive anxiety and sadness, exhaustion, irritability, when everything seems to be in order, perhaps this forgotten Wild Woman is calling you, trying to revive the settled world, to remind you of something important that is not currently manifested in your life.

How and when did we lose touch with her? Probably when a girl makes a choice: live up to expectations or rely on intuition. Seek approval or listen to yourself, be humble or express yourself out loud. Or perhaps we are just tired, because relationships, motherhood, professional development require so much responsibility, strength and attention that a woman often forgets herself.

This does not mean that the above does not bring pleasure or makes us unhappy. On the contrary, this is how we develop and realize ourselves. But the forgotten side of femininity goes into the shadows, depriving each of us of the opportunity to be integral and resourceful. As a result, the “wild” nature is split off and only the socially approved, but “de-energized” part of the personality remains.

How to return it?

• Take a look at what surrounds you. What is exciting about this? Stop for a minute and let yourself enjoy the smell, the color, the sounds of the world around you.
• If this is not around you, think about where you would like to be?
• Remember what you really love to do?
• What is your creative need? Start doing what makes you happy. Not for money or the approval of others, but just for yourself.
• Let go of your fantasy and visualize your Wild Woman: what is she like? Strong and swift or smooth and dreamy? How does she look, how does she move, how does she feel? Stay in her image for a while, look at your life through her eyes.
• What advice would you give yourself? Listen to the response within you and think about how you can manifest your Wild Woman? What does this experience tell you?

To make it easier for you to imagine, watch films dedicated to the inner journey of women, such as “Wild”, “She is the Ocean” and others.