We are accustomed to treating it rather complacently: after all, it is not a denunciation, not a deliberate slander aimed at destroying a person. Gossip is rather a truncated truth, a light genre that encroaches not on life, but only on the image. But the person about whom the gossip is started, this does not make it easier.
My good friend found himself in such a situation … and was confused. His relatives were also taken aback. No one before this incident, it turns out, did not think about how to properly respond to gossip. Previously, someone listened to such a thing with hidden curiosity, another dismissed it with a laugh, a third rejected it with indignation. But it was other people’s gossip, about strangers.
We began to discuss together: what to do? The first reaction is an ardent insult, an expression of public contempt and even a demand for evidence. Quite quickly, however, everyone agreed that this impulsive and, it would seem, the most natural move would lead to nothing: it would not hurt the gossiper and would not stop the gossip. Rather the opposite. Because it is said: «The cap is on fire on the thief.»
After all, the gossip does not bother with evidence, but only «interprets» the facts. The fact was that the young man had a successful career if he had an influential father-in-law (albeit from a different department). It turned out that the young specialist married for career reasons. It’s time to show proof of your love yourself. Silly. This is what the trick hidden in any gossip is designed for.
Any gossip says more about its author than about the person against whom it was directed.
I remembered how Alexander Blok behaved when he found himself in a similar situation. The day after the gossip spread in the newspaper (that the poet married Lyubov Dmitrievna Mendeleeva because of a large dowry), Blok publicly greeted the author of the note with emphasized cordiality and friendliness. He, as witnesses to the scene noticed, was unpleasantly surprised and embarrassed. By his behavior, Blok devalued the act of gossip, exposing the gossiper as a person not only stupid, but also secretly greedy. Everyone suddenly realized that gossip says more about the gossiper than about who it is directed against.
Someone objected to me: Blok is a person of a high mental order, besides a famous poet, not everyone is able to do this. But I think that the point is not only in the high order of the soul, but also in practical considerations. Gossip is in some way an act of creativity, a performance that requires at least a second performer. The gossip hero can become its co-creator if he rushes at the offender with his fists or begins to demand proof.
On the contrary, by its non-participation it can nullify it. The same can be said about the behavior of «spectators». Gossip uses the same laws as the truth, appealing to the ingenuous belief in details. Artistic flair does not help. Only faith in a person whom you know more fully and better will help you behave correctly.