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Narcissism: what is it
It is a personality disorder characterized by vanity, a belief in one’s own uniqueness, and superiority over other people. It is customary to call narcissists people who admire themselves and strive, by all means, to please others. They differ from ordinary people by high self-esteem.
Why “narcissist”? A long time ago, in ancient Greece, there lived a young man named Narcissus. He fell in love with his reflection in the water, from which he could not tear himself away. Contemplating his beauty, he died, and the gods turned him into a daffodil flower.
Narcissism: Signs in Men
It is not difficult to recognize such a man in a company. His immeasurable desire is immediately noticeable to those around him, and to see delight in their eyes. He is looking everywhere for confirmation of his superiority. He feels at ease only when people around him recognize that he is the smartest, most beautiful, etc.
Emotionally cold, narcissistic, looking down on everyone. To rise, he will belittle others, criticize, devalue them. Usually people choose to distance themselves from narcissists. They are incapable of empathy (empathy). They absolutely do not care what others feel.
They are completely fixed only on what happens to them. They cannot sense the other person. If the narcissist deserves his attention to someone, it is only so that he noted his gallantry. In other cases, they treat people with some disgust. Narcissistic traits are more common in men.
How to become narcissists
The psychological portrait of a person is laid in childhood through education. The attitude of parents towards a child directly affects what this baby will become when he grows up. There are two ways of upbringing that guarantee the development of narcissism in a small person.
The first method
This is a squeamish attitude towards one’s own child. For some reason, the child is not pleasant to the parents. Often he turns out to be unkempt: unwashed hands, face, disheveled hair, unkempt and dirty clothes.
This child sees some disdain in the eyes of the adults and children around him. Sometimes mothers tell the baby directly that he is not handsome, stupid, etc. In order to socially adapt and not feel rejected, at some point a person himself begins to look down on everyone.
The second way is the opposite of the first.
In this case, the mother endows the baby with some important mission, and requires incredible success from him. She treats the child as a special person, and all the time she is waiting for confirmation of this. She does not accept his flaws and weaknesses.
In order not to lose motherly love, the baby has to adjust to her expectations. He gets used to the role of an important and successful person, and he himself ceases to notice his weaknesses. Already as an adult, this person does not feel those around him precisely because he has forgotten how to feel even real.
How to prevent narcissism from forming
To prevent a child from growing up as a narcissist, parents need to learn to accept him for who he is. The child should know that any of his feelings are normal, that his mother loves him both capricious and spoiled.
You should not endow the little person with a certain social role. Kisses, hugs, affection and tenderness will help the baby to feel motherly love and total acceptance.
Relationship with daffodils
The inner circle of narcissists has a very difficult time. These people constantly belittle and devalue the merits of their relatives, harshly criticizing them. They usually don’t have friends. At the same time, people with a similar personality disorder rarely go to a psychotherapist, since they do not see problems.
For love relationships, ambitious men and women often choose nondescript and unsightly partners. They enjoy the admiration in their eyes and feel like real kings. However, it’s hard not to fall in love with them. They are bright, charismatic, fun with them.
In the early stages, a relationship with a narcissist brings fireworks of unforgettable positive emotions and impressions. But this does not last long, and soon he begins to morally destroy his partner. Such a romance will not end happily. The creation of a strong family is out of the question.
In order to keep such a man close, it is necessary to simultaneously praise and ignore him. Complimenting all the time and showing indifference at the same time is an art. You shouldn’t run after him and prove something – he will immediately lose interest.
For many, it remains a mystery why a narcissistic and self-centered person suffers when parting with a partner. If he loves no one but himself, then parting should not bring him pain.
However, daffodils also love their reflection in the eyes of their partner. That is, he will yearn not so much for the person himself as for those emotions that he received next to him.
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