Who is afraid of water?

Every summer my friends and I go to the sea,” says 43-year-old Nadezhda. “But of all our company, only I really swim: I swim breaststroke, I snorkel, sometimes I do the exercises that I learned in aqua aerobics classes.” Nadezhda’s husband in his youth participated in the swims of amateur athletes, but now he says that he is “no longer interested.” My sister suffered a psychological trauma at the age of 11 when the coach pushed her into the pool with the words: “Disabled people can swim!” She still feels uncomfortable in the water. And Nadezhda’s best friend always thinks the sea is too cold…

Many vacationers settle down on the very edge of the surf, splash around the bank to cool off, or look after the children, standing ankle-deep in water. “These are all avoidance strategies in disguise,” says aquatherapist Catherine Bouquet-Proteau. “A person may not be aware that he is afraid, but his body tenses every time a wave splashes him.” We all feel danger in a powerful and uncontrollable body of water: tsunamis, shipwrecks, sea monsters – all these menacing images are stored in our collective unconscious, making us feel weak and defenseless. The boundless ocean expanse and depths to some extent evoke such feelings even among professional athletes, the aquatherapist is sure.

Thus, the pleasure of swimming always coexists with an underlying fear: in a symbolic sense, swimming reminds us of swimming above the abyss – between being and non-being. “We call water the cradle of life,” says psychoanalytic therapist Anatoly Borsuchenko-Dolgopolov. – The first living organisms on Earth originated in the ocean. For each person, the first cradle, this kind of life-giving ocean, was the mother’s womb: as you know, he spends the months before his birth in the amniotic fluid that protects him. His life depends on the physical and mental state of the mother, on how she accepts the pregnancy – joyfully or with chagrin. The feelings experienced by the mother remain in the memory of our body and make themselves felt when in contact with water. Subsequently, someone jumps ashore after a couple of minutes, feeling out of place. And someone carelessly swims, awakening the emotions that a happy mother conveyed to the child during pregnancy.

However, the absolutely cloudless experience of pregnancy can have its own nuances. “Some women unconsciously do not want to part with their fetus,” says Anatoly Borsuchenko-Dolgopolov. – If a mother is extremely happy with her pregnancy and does not want anything else, this feeling can be transmitted to her child. In the future, a person will try not to go into the water once again – fear serves as a defense against a strong and unrealizable desire to again be in the stomach of his mother, where he was once so happy.

Such people perceive immersion in the sea (“inside the mother”) as a symbolic death, agrees Catherine Bouquet-Proteau. And he adds: “Those who refuse to put their heads in the water, or those who are disgusted by the mere thought of touching seaweed, suppress fantasies about their origin. What can be in the mother’s womb? Maybe other babies? How do you get in, how do you get out? In the soul of such adults, a frightened child continues to live, about which they have forgotten.

An unsuccessful first contact with water can also contribute to our indecision. For example, if a mother bathed a child only out of a sense of duty, and not in order to enjoy it with him. “Some mothers, with the help of bathing, unconsciously try to compensate for what they, in their opinion, did not give to the child,” notes Anatoly Borsuchenko-Dolgopolov. “For example, they want to “wash away” their feelings of guilt for not wanting to have a child or for the “sinfulness” of his birth.”

Attitudes towards water may change at a later age. One of the parents was afraid of water, and his fears (“Don’t swim too far – you’ll drown!”) stayed with us, even when we grew up. Maybe we didn’t have enough experience with the sea – and we just don’t know what to expect from it. Perhaps there were some traumatic events – a rude swim coach, an accident with boiling water, a cold shower as punishment …

Enjoying swimming means accepting your past and growing up, Catherine Bouquet-Protot is sure: “Those who love to swim do not seek to return back to their mother’s womb. On the contrary, they enjoy exploring the other world – and this is one of the most enjoyable activities of childhood. The lulling rhythm of the waves pacifies us, awakens sensuality and gives joy, which is so nice to share with loved ones. How to feel happy in the water and start swimming with pleasure? “First, listen to your feelings,” the aquatherapist advises. This will help you better understand what you’re really afraid of. And then, with the help of simple game techniques, try to see the positive aspects of swimming. Don’t insist that it doesn’t work – start with what you like.” Summer holidays can be a great springboard for our jump into the water. Shall we dive?

How to immerse yourself in pleasure

Learn water breathing

Not everyone likes to put their face in water: they are uncomfortable when water gets into their nose or ears. “Such fears take us back to the moment of birth,” says Catherine Bouquet-Proteau. “For example, if the umbilical cord is wrapped around the neck, bathing can bring to mind this feeling of suffocation.” The solution to the problem is to master underwater breathing.

How to do it? Practice on the beach: inhale through your mouth and exhale through your nose. Then go to a shallow depth and practice “behemoth breathing”: put your mouth in the water and exhale, making the sound “woo”. Then immerse your nose, exhaling through it (the mouth is closed at this time). Next step: put on your goggles and exhale through your nose, looking down into the water column.

Decide to leave the land

The idea that the current can drag you to the depths or take you in an unknown direction encourages you to do everything to “stand firmly on the ground.” “To leave the firmament,” emphasizes Catherine Bouquet-Proto, “means to give up an important achievement – the ability to walk, the first real step towards independence that a child takes.” Learning to swim is easier if we accept the possibility of lack of support and realize that we are able to move in a horizontal position.

How to do it? Go to a depth of about 20 centimeters, put your palms on the bottom and, leaning on your hands, stretch out in a prone position. Raise one hand, then the other… you stay on the surface! Another option is to hold on to a ledge of a rock or someone you trust to retrieve the rock from the bottom. Feel how the water itself pushes your body up! Games help to come to terms with the fact that we do not feel the bottom: jumping (“Baba sowed peas …”), water volleyball, dancing in the water strengthen our confidence, accustoming the body to balance, then losing, then restoring balance.

Take swimming easier

Some people lose faith in their abilities, fearing to run out of strength. “Inexperienced swimmers put in too much effort to stay on the surface,” notes the aquatherapist. For swimming, a leisurely breaststroke (and even “water” breathing) is quite enough. Solution: relax.

How to do it? Turn swimming into a game. Swim between two points, slowly gliding through the water and counting the waves of your hands. With each new “flight” reduce the number of strokes. Or focus on how you move your legs and breathe while holding a swimming aid in your hands. For example, a plank can be placed under the back and practiced in the “survival pose”: face up, working with legs and raking with hands.

touch the new

The mere thought of jellyfish or algae makes some of us shudder. “To the feeling of vulnerability of a half-naked body is added the fear of becoming the prey of a marine predator,” says Catherine Bouquet-Proteau. “And sometimes an unconscious image: according to the hypothesis of psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi, in the mother’s stomach, the child remembers its distant oceanic roots.” In this case, to come into contact with one’s “ancestors”, fishes, would symbolically mean a double step back – both in terms of growing up and in terms of human evolution. Acquaintance with the silent underwater world helps to overcome fear.

How to do it? Listening to your feelings. Put on goggles or a swimming mask and admire the light, colors of the water depths. Listen to the sounds, raise your head and breathe in the healing iodized air … And then touch the slippery rock covered with algae. And make sure it’s completely safe!