Who am I? I am my language, my profession, my values, my role in the family? What makes my life unique? These questions are not easy to answer for everyone. Reflections of psychologists about who we are.
When answering the question «Who am I?», we are inevitably deceived, the followers of Freud are sure. In their opinion, the existence of the unconscious, the multifaceted and contradictory nature of our personality does not make it possible to form an objective picture of ourselves. We include in the image of our “I” those qualities that are ready or want to see in us significant people for us (parents, teachers, friends). And our description of ourselves (for example, “I am calm, shy, sincere …”) is our “I”, perceived through the prism of their reactions.
It is possible to hear the voice of our true «I» and separate it from what we agree to be for the sake of others — the followers of existential analysis do not agree. “If we want to address our essence, we must ‘let ourselves be’,” writes existential analyst Alfried Laengle. — And, opening yourself inside, ask: “Do I feel that this is right for me?” And pay attention to your intuitive feeling, which at the same time begins to sound like an answer to this question. This is the voice of our true «I», which must be heard and which can be trusted.
In this selection of aphorisms, collected by psychotherapist Konstantin Yagnyuk1, — several deep and contradictory statements of famous psychologists and psychoanalysts.
About personality and self-consciousness
- “The main life task of a person is to give life to himself, to become what he is potentially. The most important fruit of his efforts is his own personality.” Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst and philosopher
- “Our psyche tends to maintain the illusion that we really know who we are talking about when we say “I”. Joyce McDougall, psychoanalyst
- “Ideals are guidelines, not deities. Becoming deities, they stifle the creativity of people, impede the activity of that sector of the human soul that is turned to the future. Heinz Kohut, psychoanalyst
- “If a person suffers from low self-esteem, then material goods turn out to be an unshakable value for him. Once he loses a valuable thing, he feels that he has lost everything. Peter Cutter, psychoanalyst
- “Our ‘universal conflict’ is that we strive to be individuals, but individual existence requires us to recognize a frightening isolation. Merging with the other removes isolation in a radical way – by eliminating self-consciousness.” Irvin Yalom, existential psychotherapist
- “In order to change a person, it is necessary to change his awareness of himself. Every apostasy from our own essence, every crime against our nature is fixed in our unconscious and makes us despise ourselves. Self-actualization is not only the final stage of our journey, but the journey itself and its driving force. This is a minute-by-minute actualization of all our felt and pre-perceived possibilities. Abraham Maslow, psychologist, founder of humanistic psychology
1 Konstantin Yagnyuk, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, compiler of the book “Under the sign of PSI. Aphorisms of famous psychologists” (Cogito-center, 2016).